True Confessions of a Werewolf
by Scooterbug8515
Summary: This is my confessional, the confessional of Remus John Lupin. In here I hope to accurately portray the events of my life and the lives of my friends. In this confessional there will be moments of humor for not all memories are sad but the general flow of my life and that of my friends is on the whole a sad tale, one I wish could be made better.
1. Chapter 1

(A/N:As a heads up this chapter goes a bit back and forth from First person Remus and thrid person a few other characters. ALSO! I make NO promises to update or finish this story. It was started back in 2006 and is not copy and past from a site I used to be on.)

This is my confessional, the confessional of Remus John Lupin. In here I hope to accurately portray the events of my life and the lives of my friends. There will be points where I will need to extrapolate seeing as my memory can not recall the exact words shared, but know all events are true.

In this confessional, there will be moments of humor for not all memories are sad, but the general flow of my life and that of my friends is on the whole a sad tale, one I wish could be made better.

The best place I feel to start would be an explanation of myself. I am a werewolf, but in no means am I the beast that most would think. At least I try to deny that ghastly part of myself. It hasn't been easy and there are times where I wish to give in, but if I did then I would be no better than the beast within me, no better than the one who placed this curse upon me.

I was a small child when the wolf overtook me. Six years old to be exact. I had wanted to surprise my mother for her birthday. I wanted to pick her flowers for her birthday. So the night before I slipped out to pick flowers. I was going to place them on the table as a surprise. That never happened.

As a six year old I didn't know much of my father's work. If I had, I would have known more of the dangers of sneaking out late at night but I didn't. I didn't pay much mind of anything at that age. I thought rules were things that could be bent and broken from time to time. I never thought of them as a form of protection. So I freely admit that my blatant disregard for the rules is the cause of my curse. You see, the night I went out was a full moon. That night Fenrir was out seeking revenge. I never knew, I was out to pick flowers. The howls that traveled late into the night didn't even cause me to think twice. Fenrir was out for blood, mine or my father's and he attained mine and almost my life.

Fenrir was a vicious man who did not take disagreements well, especially when his pride and money were involved. My father was a man who did research on dark creatures trying to understand them better for defense and other such matters. Fenrir was his partner in the area of study. According to my father, Fenrir took great risks with his job to get the information and pay. My father also stated that Fenrir took what could be called a less than healthy outlook on the subject matter having an over developed interest in it.

With this intense interest in the dark creatures Fenrir allowed himself to be bitten. He kept his condition well hidden for month or so with only minor mood swings and changes, but soon it became apparent to my father. With that knowledge Fenrir was no longer considered a friend and associate, but a monster. Instantly, Fenrir lost his job, his home, his everything.

From here I speculate on Fenrir's mentality and motives. His mind and psyche is not a pleasant place to delve into, as can be seen by his actions. Fenrir embraced the wolf and has become quite a dangerous person. I gather the rejection and betrayal did not sit well with Fenrir. I believe he thought if he bit me as he did he would cut my father to the quick, and he did, for who could ever love a wolf?

*****

Remus sat outside playing a game of the imagination, as only a six-year-old boy would. He was unaware of being watched. He was lost in his own little world. Two sinister eyes followed the small boy as he went about his playing.

"Yes, your boy John," breathed Fenrir. His eyes followed the young Remus as he got up to run across the yard. "Will you hold the same opinion of the werewolves if your only son is one? Yes John, I will forever remain here. I will break into your house if I must. But I will get you where it hurts, your son. Making you a wolf is not enough. I know how proud of Remus you are. How many times have you told me about him? Shown me his picture? It makes me sick. Life is so perfect for you is it? Just you wait John, how perfect will be when your son is a wolf? Tonight is a full moon; I can feel it without looking at the calendar. I will be ready and waiting. The desire to kill and hurt is strong and tonight I shall quench my thirst."

"Remus!" called a melodic voice bringing Remus inside.

"Enjoy that innocence while you can," growled Fenrir from his hiding place as he watched Remus run to his mother's call.

The hours ticked away as they do in any other day, causing the sun to eventually set and the full moon to rise. It was not until later that Remus Lupin would venture out of the house and Fenrir would have his chance to maim and destroy.

*****

I remember the night as if it were yesterday. I wish I could forget the events of that fateful night, but I can't. How could anyone forget the traumatic events of that night? As I stated before, I disregarded the rule of not going out after dark and went out. I was to pick flowers for my mother's birthday. Slipping out into the night, I made my way to the field where the wild flowers grew. Wild flowers were my mother's favorite.

It was a warm summer night there was humidity in the air. Crickets were chirping and there was a faint howl in the distance, but I did not think about it. I laughed to myself at my cleverness and sneakiness. I looked at the yard and marveled at the pale blue shadow that was cast upon everything making it all seem different and foreign. I felt like I was on some sort of adventure.

There was a sweet smell of summer and flowers mingled in the air. I could feel the cool, moist dew that had already settled on the grass. The soft, long, green blades gently tickled at my bare feet and ankles. I was already getting too tall for my pajamas, my ankles and wrists sticking past the cuffs of those blue pajamas with broomsticks all over it. They were my favorite pajamas at the time.

It did not take me long to reach the field where the wild flowers grew. The pinks and purples were my mum's favorites. I quickly set to work gathering those flowers in particular. As I was busy about my work another howl pierced the air. The sound was still distant, but decidedly closer. I was such a fool as a child. The closeness of the howl should have sent me back to the house, but I found it to be excitingly creepy, enough to add a bit of fun and adventure to my task. My imagination carried me away as did the sweet smell of the flowers. I was so lost in my imaginary world I did not see the wolf quietly approach.

As I bent to pick the last flower of the night I heard a sound. It was so loud and piercing of a sound that it still sent shivers down my spine. The thought of it still sends shivers down my spine to this day, it even haunts my dreams from time to time.

The sound was that of a wolf howling, about to take its prey. I was found without a voice, petrified for a time, the wolf less than two feet away. After half a minute a neuron fired in my head and I started to flee. I abandoned the flowers I had in my hand. I hadn't a hope or a prayer in the world, but instinct told me to run.

I made it no more than five feet and I was knocked to the ground. Instantly, there was a searing pain in my left ankle and heel. I cried out in pain. This was it in my mind, this was the end. I thought of how I was going to miss my mum and dad and how I wished I hadn't broken the rules.

I could hear the wolf's growl as he shook me about and started to drag me on. I cried and grasped desperately for something to get away. My heart raced and beat against my rib cage. I was scared for my life.

From here things go blurry. I believe I blacked out, for my next distinct memory was in the hospital. From what I gather, Fenrir dragged me about and was about to make more of a mess of me when my father came and ran Fenrir off.

My next clear memory is fuzzy at best.

*****

"Mum?" croaked a small Remus in a big white bed in St. Mungo's hospital. His head had a clean white bandage around his head. His left foot was propped up in a sling that was magically enchanted to hold the foot up. It was wrapped as well, but that bandage was already turning red.

"Shh," cooed a sweet gentle voice, Mrs. Lupin's hand grasped Remus' right while her other went to cradle the side of his face. Her thumb gently brushed up and down on his cheek.

"You rest. Everything is going to be alright," whispered Mrs. Lupin. Her gray blue eyes misted over with tears. There was a pained sadness and worry etched on her face, but she wore a faint smile, one of grim relief that Remus was conscious, and one of mock bravery for the sake of her son.

"Mum.." started Remus, wanting to explain to apologize.

"Shh, not now. A healer should be in soon," instructed Mrs. Lupin as she brushed a few tears from her eyes.

Remus nodded his head slightly. Before he knew it he was unconscious once again.

"Still unconscious?" asked a blond healer entering and unwrapping Remus' foot.

"He was conscious just a few moments ago," answered Remus' mother as she took her hand from his face to wipe some more tears from her eyes.

"He'll pull through," assured the healer as Remus moaned in pain through his unconscious state.

Mrs. Lupin nodded, "It's just not fair, he's so young." She let out a sniff as John Lupin entered. He looked worn and frazzled. It was obvious that he had been crying and had little sleep.

"None of it is fair," answered John as he entered the room. He ran a frazzled hand through his hair.

"John," breathed his wife.

"We need to talk," whispered John placing his hand on his wife's shoulder.

"What is it?" she demanded eyes wide and searching as she looked up at her husband.

"Let us speak outside," answered John, "Allow the healer to do her job."

"We shall be preparing to remove and re-grow bones," explained the healer as she continued to work on Remus' foot and leg.

Both parents, with grim expressions, nodded their heads and got up to leave the room.

"What is it John?" demanded John's wife.

"Sarah, I think Remus' situation is worse than what we once thought."

"How so?" demanded Sarah, fighting every urge in her body to rush back into her son.

"I had my suspicions even last night, but I couldn't say for sure until I did a little bit more research."

"What is it John?"

"Remus wasn't attacked by an ordinary wolf last night. Last night we lost our son. He was attacked by a werewolf, and that is what lies in that bed in there."

"No!" firmly stated Sarah, fighting back tears, "In that room in that bed is our son. He is severely hurt and is a lost scared little boy, werewolf or not."

"When bitten people change, Sarah. They no longer are what they once were. You know what happened to Fenrir."

"I refuse to believe that!" answered Sarah her blue gray eyes meeting the steel ones of her husband, "That is still our son in there."

"Sarah…"

"I won't hear it John," snapped Sarah, turning to enter back into the room.

*****

My next set of memories from that time are broken up. I vaguely remember being given a potion that tasted terrible and I remember a fire in my leg and foot. It was one of the worst pains in the world. I remember waking up and falling back to sleep through out the night. I remember my mum being by my side through it all. Hushing me and assuring me I would be fine.

After my fitful night, I woke up with my mum's head resting on the bed next to me. I felt disoriented trying to figure out where I was and what had happened. It was sudden how the memories came flooding back to me and in an instant I was frightened.

"Mum?" I choked, tears in my eyes.

"Remus," breathed my mum with a weak smile, her eyes were blood shot and she looked worn.

I wanted to say more, but words seemed to fail me. It was a comfort to know she was there with me and awake though I felt bad for waking her. She didn't have to be awake, though it did make me feel better. Before I knew what was happening, I was crying. Choking on tears, tears releasing all my fears and tears of relief.

"Oh, Remus, It's all right, it's all right," cooed my mother as she gently enveloped me in a hug. As I cried she rocked me back and forth. A soothing shushing sound escaped from her mouth. I don't know how long we sat there, but we were there for a long time. Long enough for me not to have any tears left.

"I want to go home," I mumbled into my mother's neck.

"Soon honey, soon," whispered my mum as she rubbed her hand up and down my back.

*****

As Sarah cradled her son, she looked up at her husband standing in the doorway. Her look spoke much to John, stating how Remus was still their son and was a very lost and scared little child.

John stood in the doorway taking in the scene before him. What he knew of wolves negated what he saw before him. Maybe he was wrong in his speculation. Remus seemed as the same boy as he was the other day. While he looked on he caught the message that Sarah conveyed with her look.

John cleared his throat and stepped fully into the room. Remus pulled away from his mother and looked to John his eyes still full of fear, the silvery orbs glistening from his tears.

"The – the healer should be in soon to check up on you. We should be able to take you home soon," explained John to Remus though he looked to his wife Sarah with a look that seemed to say, 'okay we'll try this.'


	2. Chapter 2

From that day on life was different. Instead of going to work, my father stayed home and set to work constructing a shed. My mum would get weepy eyed every time she looked at the shed. She always seemed sure to get me what I wanted and be sure that I was comfortable. By week's end I was capable of walking, but I dared not venture outside on my own.

Every time I neared the door I would get images of the attack flashing in my head. More nights than not, I would wake up screaming from a nightmare, the wolf haunting every one. I am certain that if my six-year-old self were faced with a boggart, it would have taken the form of that wolf.

Two weeks went by and my already restless nights were broken up even more. I had trouble sleeping not because of the nightmares though, just a general inability to sleep. Hearing this would cause my mum to fret, bite her lip, and pull lightly at her shoulder-length blond hair. I couldn't understand what all this was about until it had been nearly a month since I had been bitten. It was then that my father sat me down at the kitchen table. He told me that he wanted to talk. Mum was there too, biting her lip and tugging lightly at her hair again, as she paced the floor. I was almost certain she was going to ware a hole in the kitchen's blue carpeting.

"Remus," began my father looking at the table rather than at me though it was a bit off to the side while we sat face to face. "I have some difficult information to share with you," continued my dad venturing to look up at me and lock eyes, expressing the full seriousness of the situation. "The night you were attacked was a full moon," stated my dad slowly, "There is reason to believe that the wolf that attacked you that night was no ordinary wolf but rather a werewolf."

"Then – then that means I'm one too?" I asked my cheeks flushed. My mind was trying to calculate the meaning of it all.

"There is a chance that it was a normal wolf," offered my mom, wanting to keep me as comforted as possible.

"But there is still a chance that it was," continued my dad, a grim look on his face, "This is why when the full moon comes you are going to have to spend the night in the shed I built."

"I'm going to have to out there?" I asked pointing out the kitchen window to the shack. I was still scared to go outside and the prospect of having the spend the night outside frightened me even more, especially if I was going to have to be that wolf!

"I know you're scared honey," cooed my mom approaching me to place her hand on the side of my face, "but it's to protect you and your father and I."

My mother's eyes were filled with tears though she didn't let a single one drop. I think she held them back for my sake. And knowing that she was putting on a brave face for me, I knew I could do the same for her.

I mustered all my strength together and nodded solemnly, "I'll do it."

There was a grim sort of determination on my face, and it was here that I think I grew up, losing some of that sweet, precious, innocence of childhood.

"That a boy," congratulated my father as he patted my shoulder, "Now Remus, before the full moon arrived, there is much I want you to know…"

From there my father delved into a deep and intensive explanation of werewolves. Any and all information known about them, my dad was certain to make sure I knew it.

"Do you understand?" asked my father at the end of his explanation. By now my mum had taken a seat and her attention was intently focused on me as if to be sure that I was handling this new information well. To be honest, at the time there was so much my mind was trying to process, that I did not get it all, but I understood enough. I understood that I was going to have to spend the night in the shed and that if I was a werewolf there was going to be some pain. Little did I know how much. Transformations are excruciatingly painful, something no one but a werewolf can conceive. As a six-year-old, I was frightened to death of the concept of being werewolf, but wide-eyed, I nodded my head indicating I understood what my father had explained to me.

"That's my boy," answered my dad, pride was in his voice as he grasped my shoulder. My mom blinked her eyes repeatedly and held a bit of smile on her face.

When the time came for me to go into the shed I must admit that I was petrified. The whole concept of one being outside alone would be enough to make any kid in my shoes want to cry, but to also be faced with the fact that I may very well be the monster who attacked me that was frightening beyond belief. But I knew my duty; I had to go out to that shed. My mum dressed me in old worn robes that once belonged to my father, and then the three of us walked out to the shed.

"Now don't you worry Remus," assured my mum tears in her eyes, "We are going to be right here on the other side of the shed door," she sniffed as a tear rolled down her cheek. I nodded my head.

"Come along dear," grimly instructed my dad. My mother drew me into a tight embrace before stepping back toward the door of the shed.

Before fully leaving, my mum stated, "We'll be sure to open the door first thing in the morning." She wiped a few more tears from her face as they fell.

"I'll be locking the door magically," my dad informed me his wand out as he slowly closed the door to the shed.

With the door shut and locked I was enveloped in darkness, I immediately sat on the dirt floor of the shed and allowed silent tears to fall. I knew I was alone in this, and that is what I think frightened me the most.

An hour or two passed before anything began to happen. The first thing I noticed was the hair on the back of my neck standing on end, with a sudden and intense increase in the five senses. I did not have time to explore these new found senses, for that was when it hit, the first wave of pain. It caused my body to go rigid and I started to shake. I didn't initially make a sound for the pain had caught me short of breath. Next to happen was for everything to move and contour in shape and form. A yell escaped and issued forth from my mouth, but it was quickly transformed into a howl.

Now, normally, I do not have recollections of being the wolf, but this night there were parts of it that I remembered vividly. At the time, I hadn't quite learned to hide and sleep while the wolf was in control. As the wolf I remember smelling humans, non-wolf kind. There was an intense desire to get at them. As the wolf lunged at the shed door to kill them, I realized that these humans were my parents. I screamed and yelled for the wolf to stop, but it insisted. I had no control, it was here that my mind naturally retreated within itself and I went to sleep having no more conscious awareness of the wolf's actions that night.

My next memory was waking up with a groan and pain as my mum wiped my forehead with a cool rag. Her eyes were blood shot and she looked worn. I wanted to sit up and ask what had happened, but I was too tired and weak. There was a general pain and aching in every part of me.

"It's over now Remus. You rest now, everything will be all right," whispered my mum.

With no acknowledgement of my mum's words, my eyes closed and I was asleep once more. When next I woke, my pain wasn't as intense. There was a dull ache here and there, mainly in the joints. My arms stung a bit and were wrapped and dressed.

"Mum?" I croaked looking around the room; it was so empty and quiet. I didn't want to venture out on my own. I was still a bit scared and I didn't quite trust my legs yet.

As I sat in the quiet empty room, fear and panic seemed to grip me. With a cracked voice, I called out "Mum!" It was a matter of seconds and my mum was in the room wide eyed, worry etched on her face.

"It's okay Remus, it is all over," soothed my mum, sitting on the edge of my bed and embracing me. I cried a bit as she held me. "You've been asleep twelve hours, would you like something to eat?"

"Yes," I said nodding my head pulling away from the familiarity of my mothers comforting embrace.

"I'll get you some broth then," answered my mum, getting up to leave.

"Wait!" I called, grabbing her hand; I couldn't stand the thought of being alone just yet.

"Remus," reacted my mum in a slightly surprised manner, "It's okay, you are safe and I will be right back."

I nodded and let my mom's hand go, knowing that she would be back soon.

As years passed, I learned to cope and deal with the werewolf. It is my curse, one I must live with.


	3. Chapter 3

There were many struggles as I learned about being a wolf, but to tell it all would take too much time. I feel it is more important to cover other major events in my lifetime, rather than cataloging time in learning about being a werewolf. I feel I have given you a sufficient idea of my condition. I will freely admit that in the course of my writings, I may have become a bit nostalgic about it, but what is done is done.

Having grown up as I had, I grew accustomed to a lack of acceptance. It was something well ingrained into me by my father. I had come to expect it. Some may wonder about my father's up-bringing of me, but he only wanted to be sure to prepare me for the future. He knew of the difficulties I would face. I think this was also the reason he made sure I was well educated.

When my Hogwarts acceptance letter came, I wasn't excited like most eleven year olds. I took my letter with a grain of salt. I was accepted, but would not be attending. I kept my mouth shut on how I wanted to go. I didn't know that my parents were considering the possibility of my going.

"John, Remus received his acceptance letter today," remarked Sarah sitting next to him as he drank his evening tea. Remus was in his room studying.

"Did he now?" asked John opening one of his closed eyes, he was trying to read his wife.

"He wants to go John."

"Did he say that?" questioned John, opening up his other eye and sitting. He let out a sigh and took another sip of his tea.

"No, he wouldn't have dared, but I could see it in his eyes. I want him to go," answered Sarah in and unrelenting manner.

John rubbed his temple sitting forward; he could tell that Sarah was not going to give up on the subject easily.

"How do you propose we do this?" he asked, ever being the realist.

"Why don't we contact the headmaster and explain the situation? Hogwarts is good about letting students attend. Not to mention, I've heard good things about Dumbeldore as headmaster. He seems to have really turned the position around. We would have to send a letter of non-attendance anyway."

"You are right about the non-attendance letter," agreed John, setting the tea cup that was in his hand down, "but I'm not sure about the whole revealing of Remus being a werewolf. Secrecy is key."

"What is the risk John? The worst that can happen is for Headmaster Dumbeldore to tell us it isn't possible. Remus won't wind up any more isolated than what he is already. We have to try. He has a right to a normal education like anyone else. Remus needs to socially interact with other students his age. You have said yourself that we need to make life as normal as possible for him.

"All right," sighed John, "We'll try it. I'll send Dumbeldore an owl first thing in tomorrow." With that John leaned over and kissed his wife.

Dear Headmaster Dumbeldore,

I am sending this owl, because there is some great difficulty and concern about sending my son Remus Lupin to Hogwarts.

It is a difficult situation for me to admit to and explain. You see when my son was a mere boy of six he was attacked by a werewolf. From then on he has been condemned to suffer from lycanthopy. With his condition in mind it seems near impossible for Remus to attend Hogwarts.

Sincerely,  
John R. Lupin

*****

Dear John,

Please call me Albus. I am deeply grieved by your situation. It is a shame that Remus had to suffer something so tragic and life altering at such a young age. His condition certainly does present a problem, but not one without solution.

I have some idea as to what can be done to allow Remus to attend Hogwarts this coming fall. Would you be so kind as to meet me at the Three Broomsticks in Hogsmeade? I feel it would be best and easiest to meet and explain my ideas to you in person.

Awaiting your reply,  
Albus Dumbeldore  
Headmaster of Hogwarts

*****

Albus,

Thank you. I appreciate your understanding and willingness to help in this situation. I am more than happy to meet you at the Three Broomsticks. This Saturday would work best for me. Seven o'clock?"

-John Lupin

*****

John cleared his throat as he approached the Three Broomsticks. He hadn't anticipated Dumbeldore having a plan for his son. When entering the pub it was easy to identify Dumbeldore. Remus had gotten so many Chocolate Frog cards of the man it was easy to pick out the tall thin man with a long silvery beard, not to mention the fact that he was wearing turquoise robes with a tall pointy hat to match.

"Albus Dumbeldore?" asked John approaching the tall man.

"John Lupin," warmly smiled Dumbeldore taking his hand to shake. "It is a pleasure to meet you."

"Same here," answered John nodding his head.

"Madame Rosemerta had a room for conferences, which she has so kindly reserved for us. I believe that a more private local would be most suiting, allowing us to freely talk about the matters at hand."

"Yes, that would be nice," agreed John, following Dumbeldore's lead.

"Would you care for a drink?" offered Dumbeldore, taking a seat in the private room.

"No thank you," answered John taking a seat as well.

"I guess we shall move on to business then?" asked Dumbeldore with another warm smile. There was a twinkling in his eyes exuding a general merriment. Dumbeldore continued on, his question having been rhetorical. "I have come into possession of a shack at the edge of Hogsmeade. There is a way that a tunnel can be produced that would lead from the school ground to this shack. If my knowledge of werewolves proves correct, the shack will be most suiting for Remus during his transformations."

"I am certain that your knowledge is quite extensive," graciously agreed John, "but I would still appreciate it if I were allowed to look over the location myself."

"Of course, after we are done with our conversation here we will head over to have a look."

"Thank you, now, if you don't mind me asking, how would you keep students from accidentally entering the shack or going down the tunnel that will be created?"

"I don't mind you asking at all," assured Dumbeldore, gesturing with his hands to additionally express his feeling of no ill will. "As you may be aware there are rumors of the shack being haunted. I have helped to encourage this rumor. As to the tunnel entrance, a whomping willow will block that. This willow will have a mechanism attached to it, so that it will not allow others, save Remus, through."

"It sounds like you have it all well planned out," mused John., " What about recovery time? And Remus' academics? How many of your staff would have to know?"

"All excellent questions," nodded Dumbeldore, " I anticipate no more than myself, Madame Pomfrey the school healer, and the Deputy Headmistress, Minerva McGonnagall, possibly his head of house, but only if necessary. As to Remus' academics he will be excused from any missed classes and be permitted to make up any missed work. The general excuse will be sickness or any other excuse you deem worthy of being used. Recovery time should only be a day. The potions master, Horace Slughorn is quite accustomed to making a regular supply of healing potion for Madame Pomfrey. I am certain he would not think twice if the call for that particular potion increased."

"It seems you have it all planned and figured out," remarked an impressed John.

"Everyone is deserving of an education, something such as lycanthopy, should not be an exception."

"It is good to hear that. I'll admit that I myself was prejudiced against werewolves, but having watched Remus grow up, I've come to discover that he is my son. One of the sweetest and most mild mannered people I know. It is hard to believe he becomes that beast every full moon."

*****

Having already accepted the fact that I was not going to attend Hogwarts I was shocked to walk into my room one day to find schoolbooks and uniforms, and an owl sitting on my bed.

"Mum?" I called. She wasn't far, just down the hall a bit, but obviously following me, though I wasn't aware of it at the time.

"Yes Remus?" she answered stepping to my doorway.

Turning to her I asked, "What's this?"

"Your school things," she answered with a small and mischievous smile.

"My – school things, but I thought…"

"It turns out you can go!" her excitement for me was shining through.

"But how? What about my - ?"

"Your dad has gotten it all worked out with your Headmaster Dumbeldore. But let's not worry about the details now! Come on let's get you your wand!" My mum held her hand out for me to take.

I looked at my new things for a moment and then took her hand, "I'm going to school!" I breathed as we headed down to the fireplace to floo to Diagon Alley.

I'll admit that going to get my wand was a bit nerve wracking. I didn't know what to expect.

"Ah, Sarah McCormick, fancy seeing you in here again. I remember I sold you a seven and three quarter inch ash wand with an unicorn hair core, swishy thing, excellent for charms!" greeted Ollivander, coming down from a step ladder that was set toward the back of the shop.

"Yes," answered my mum with a small nod and a smile on her face.

"I never forget a wand. And who might this be?"

"This is my son, Remus Lupin."

"Son of John Lupin? Nine inch birch wood dragon heart sting, firm and most excellent for transfiguration. Now, then first things first, we need to take your measurements."

Ollivander looked me over once almost seemingly able to look right inside of me as he set his tape measure to work. It took measurements of all sorts of proportions on me. I had to have been standing there for about three minutes while the tape measure did its work on me.

"Hm, interesting," remarked Ollivander, stepping away taking his measuring tape with him. He started to peruse his shelves of wands. I looked to my mum in a questioning way. This certainly was an unusual experience.

"What is interesting?" my mum asked, watching as Ollivander selected a wand from the shelves.

"He has unique measurements which dictates the need for a unique wand," answered Ollivander, approaching me with the wand he had selected.

"Try this one eight and a half inches unicorn hair, willow, quite flashy."

Ollivander presented me with the wand. I looked down at it and then over at my mum. She nodded at me.

"Take it and wave it about," instructed Ollivander.

Taking the wand in my hand it didn't feel right, I waved it and nothing happened.

"No, obviously no. Let me see. Oh here. Nine inches Dragon heart sting and ash, very unusual combination."

I took the wand and instantly a fire exploded on the counter.

"Nope, that's not it," continued Ollivander in his search while my mom produced her wand to put out the fire.

We were in the shop for over an hour. I felt like I had tried every wand in the store and caused plenty of damage.

"There is one more wand I would like to try," remarked Ollivander turning and heading all the way to the very back. "This is one of my most unique wands. One I created back when I had been experimenting with different mediums. Here try this one."

I took the wand and it felt as if it were and extension of my arm. It was warm to the touch. Knowing the routine, I waved it and instead of the typical disasters, I produced gold sparks.

My mum smile at me as I looked on with awe, a smile of relief creeping onto my face. Mr. Ollivander gently took the wand from me to wrap it up. "Ten inches, holly, werewolf hair, one of my most unique wands."

When my mum and I heard Ollivander describe the wand we exchanged knowing looks of surprise and shock.

"Thank you," simply stated my mum taking the wand and paying for it.

"Good day," greeted Ollivander as my mum and I left.

"Why don't we get some ice cream?" suggest my mom as we left Ollivander's, her tone somewhat quiet.

I nodded my head in agreement, wanting to not really think about what had just happened, hoping that ice cream would help both of us forget.


	4. Chapter 4

After the experience at Olivander's things got exciting and nerve wracking. I was excited to go to school, but at the same time, I was nervous. Would I be able to make friends? What if someone figures out my secret? What house would I be sorted into? Would I do well academically? So many questions were running through my head.

"Remus," called my dad as I was heading to my room to be sure my stuff was fully packed seeing as I'd have to arrive at Hogwarts early.

"Yes?" I asked returning to my dad who was sitting in the living room.

"With you going off to school in two days I want to be sure you know the excuses we worked on for you to give if asked about your disappearances."

"I know," I sighed, "If I am asked then I will claim that I'm sick, say that I have an aunt who's died, or that Mum is sick."

"Good, what else?"

"What I say is not a lie, but rather an excuse, and I should not use one excuse too many times," I answered with a sigh. I knew what my dad said, but it still felt like lying to me no matter what I was told.

"That's my boy. You'll do fine," assured my dad clapping me on the shoulder.

There were two more conversations like that before my parents saw me onto the Hogwarts train. It was quiet and empty. I sat in the back compartment where it was quieter. With the moon fast approaching and the excitement of going to school combined, I was running short on sleep so I too the opportunity to catch up on it a bit. Not that I could exactly keep my eyes open if I wanted to. Seeing as I slept most of the trip, it went fairly quickly. When the train stopped I awoke. When I disembarked, a very tall man who had a very long and wild hair greeted me.

" 'ello," he greeted, looking down at me with a smile. "How was yer ride?"

"Hello," I greeted, "My ride went well. I was told to leave my things on the train?"

"Those will be sent to yer room. You'll be needin' to come with me."

I nodded my head and followed the giant-like man. As I did such, my mum's words began to circulate in my mind. They ran through my head to the point that it was over whelming. I had to listen to her. Though I am not exactly one to randomly introduce myself, I did this time.

"I'm Remus," I quietly offered as I followed the giant.

"Rubeus Hagrid, nice to meet yeh," answered Hagrid as he sauntered toward the lake. I had to take two steps for his every one.

"Nice to meet you, too," I agreed starting to pan just a bit. Knowing that I have an edge in strength over others, at least according to my dad, I couldn't help but wonder how someone else would have faired walking next to Hagrid. Not that others would be where I was.

"So what brings yeh to Hogwarts early," asked Hagrid looking down at me his pace slowing a bit.

"Lack of transportation," I answered trying to make eye contact. It was a truth after all, just not all of it, "Had to get special permission from Professor Dumbledore."

Hagrid let out a sigh of pride, "Great man Dumbledore." By this time Hagrid had stopped at the edge of a great lake where a boat was waiting.

"You're telling me," I answered, knowing what Dumbeldore was doing was more than just merely having me arrive really.

"There's only one boat fer the two of us, might be a bit crowded, but it'll do."

The boat was quite crowded to tell the truth, I wasn't one to complain, I was just glad we weren't trying to fit my things on the boat with us as well.

"All the firs' years that will be here in a few days will travel like this," explained Hagrid, "Led em across here last year, doin' it again this year. I 'spect Dumbledore'll have me do it every year. S'all part of being Keeper of Keys and Grounds 'ere at Hogwarts."

"Aside from leading first years across the lake what do you do as Keeper of Keys and Grounds?" I politely asked trying to keep the conversation going.

"I make sure that nothing from the Forbidden Forest creeps onto the grounds. I help keep the place orderly an if'n I see some students misbehaving I lend a helping hand and try to put an end to it," answered Hagrid a smile on his face, his chest seemed to puff out, he seemed mighty proud of his job.

"So you've only been at the job for a year?"

"Yep" answered Hagrid, "Dumbledore was kind enough to talk Headmaster Dippit into letting me stay after I got expelled. I learned all about the grounds keeping from a friendly bloke named Og, jus' retired last year."

Hagrid and I continued to talk as we crossed the lake. I asked about why he got expelled and Hagrid wouldn't tell me and remarked how he shouldn't have told me what he did.

"Well, here we are," announced Hagrid when the boat came to a stop just inside the castle. "All yeh need to do is go up the stairs, Professor McGonagall will meet yeh at the top."

"Thank you," I answered as I crawled out of the boat.

Hagrid waved farewell to me as I made my way up the stairs. I waved back and then took the long trek to the top.

"Good evening Mr. Lupin," greeted Professor McGonagall.

"Good evening Professor," I answered looking up at her. She did not hold a warm smile like Hagrid. Her look was quite business like.

"If you follow me we'll go up to Professor Dumbledore's office," she explained. I could tell she wasn't as conversational as Hagrid and so the walk to Dumbeldore's office was a quiet one. We then stopped in front of a statue at the end of the corridor.

"Chocolate Frogs," suddenly stated Professor McGonagall. At first I wondered why she said that out of the blue, seeing as there had been silence between us. Her words were explained when the statue jumped out of the way to reveal a staircase. Professor McGonagall then proceeded to lead the way up he stairs until we stopped at a large oak door upon which she knocked.

"Come in," came a friendly voice through the door, I couldn't help but guess that it belonged to Dumbeldore.

Professor McGonagall opened the door and ushered me into the ornately decorated office.

"Welcome Mr. Lupin, Professor McGonagall, I anticipated that it was you. Care for a chocolate frog?"

Professor McGonagall politely refused when Dumbledore offered a bowl to her. I on the other hand selected one. Chocolate was and is one of my favorite sweets. It seems the cure all for everything. I find chocolate hard to resist.

"Thank you," I mumbled as I opened the package. I caught the frog and took a bite hardly noticing that the card happened to be Dumbledore.

"You are quite welcome," beamed Dumbledore setting the bowl down there was a merry twinkle in his eyes. I couldn't help but smile and liked the headmaster immediately, everything that he was doing for me aside.

"Well first things first, you need to be sorted into a house," remarked Dumbledore, resting his hand on an old fray hat that sat on his desk. "If you would have a seat please, Mr. Lupin," gestured Dumbledore to a seat with his free hand.

I took the seat behind me as Dumbledore approached. I was suddenly nervous. What house would I be in? How was I decided? I never thought to ask.

Dumbledore continued to hold a warm smile on his face as he approached me. It helped to calm my nerves. "What I have here is the sorting hat. It will be placed on you head. It will look inside you and determine what house you are to be in."

I solemnly nodded my head as Dumbledore placed it on my head. Instantly I head a wizened old voice. I wondered if Dumbledore and McGonagall could hear it, I couldn't see them for the brim of the hat covered my eyes.

An early arrival, most unusual. Ah, I see why, a werewolf, eh? Not to worry my lips are sealed. It shall not taint my judgment. Now where to put you? Decisions decisions, I see a sharp and ready mind well suited for Ravenclaw, like your father, the loyalty of a Huffelpuff, but what's this I see? The most strong and true characteristic in you is your courage, best suited for "GRYFFINDOR!"

At the hat's final proclamation the hat was lifted off my head. I was a Gryffindor. Dumbleldore still held his usual smile, but now McGonagall held one too. She held a new sort of fondness toward me even if it was hidden by her ever-vigilant professionalism.

"Being placed in Gryffindor, Professor McGonagall is your head of house. She will see to it that your things are sent to the correct room."

"Your schedule will be placed upon your bed. The password to the Gryffindor tower is hopscotch. Welcome to the house of Gryffindor," offered McGonagall before she got up to leave.

As information was given to me, I tried to quickly memorize things especially the password into the tower. As Professor McGonagall left I mumbled another 'thank you' to her before Dumbledore began speaking once again.

"Now down to business, I suppose," stated Dumbledore taking a seat at his desk tepeeing his finger together where only the tips connected. "We do need to discuss the reason you are here early and other relevant matters."

"Yes sir," I meekly agreed, talking about the moon was never a pleasant thing to discuss, but it was a necessary evil in this case.

"I will be assigning a house elf to you to be sure you have your supper and find your way properly to your dorm room. Tomorrow Dopsy the house elf will continue assisting you by making sure you receive breakfast and lunch as well as help you find your way to the hospital wing where you will meet with Madame Pompfrey. She is the school nurse and had been properly instructed in seeing to your needs. She will accompany you to the shrieking shack and from there she will instruct you in the procedures that will need to be followed each month."

"Yes sir," I nodded, all the information I was receiving in one blow seemed quite overwhelming at the time.

"I am afraid I must apologize that you will need to enter the shrieking shack early due to the arrival of the students for the start of term feast."

"I understand, sir."

"I was certain you would," answered Dumbledore a glint in his eyes and the ever-present warm smile on his lips, "Do you have any questions?"

"No sir, I believe I understand," I answered, though, the inundation of so much information still seemed overwhelming. I despite the feeling of being overwhelmed felt that I understood all that was told to me.

"Good," agreed Dumbledore, "Dopsy should be here momentarily."

No sooner did Dumbledore speak of the house elf that there was a crack in the room followed by the appearance of a male house elf.

"Dopsy here as requested, sir," announced the elf with a deep, low bow his short nose almost touching the ground.

"Thank you Dopsy," responded Dumbledore, "This here is Remus Lupin, the new student I asked you to see to today and tomorrow."

"Yes sir," bowed Dopsy a second time, after having stood up to look at me.

"Thank you, Dopsy," answered Dumbledore.

"My pleasure, sir. If you, sir, would follow Dopsy, he will lead you to the kitchens for some dinner."

I got up to leave and follow Dopsy. "Thank you, Professor Dumbledore," I remarked before tuning to follow the elf.

"You are most welcome," assured Dumbledore, as I made my way out of his office.


	5. Chapter 5

After my meeting, I followed Dopsy down to the kitchens where I was served quite a delicious meal. Afterwards I was led to the Gryffindor tower and my room. Dopsy informed me that Hermes, my owl, was in the owlery while the rest of my things rested at the foot of my bed.

My schedule was on my bed as McGonagall had stated. I settled in for the night, but rested little. The wolf was quite restless, being in a new environment.

The day of the moon passed quickly until it was time for me to meet Madam Pomfrey. Dopsy led me there from the common room, and I quickly committed to memory this path as I had done with memorizing the path to the kitchens.

"Ah Mr. Lupin right on time," greeted Madame Pomfrey bustling over to me.

"I want you to take this, it should help dull the pain of you transformation," she instructed wasting no time. Madame Pomfrey handed me a goblet full of a pale green potion and ushered me over to a bed.

I sat on the bed and took a sip of the potion and nearly choked, it was horrific to the taste, but I continued to force myself to drink it for I knew the good it would do me.

"I have a sack dinner prepared for you seeing as you have to enter the shack so early this time. I'm sorry it has to be this way. Generally you should be able to make it to dinner before coming here for your potion. It will always have to be a quick dinner, so that when crossing the lawns to the willow you will not be seen."

"Yes Ma'am ," I answered taking my sack meal from her, having finished the potion that she gave me.

"If you have finished your potion, I'll show you the rest of the procedures for reaching the shrieking shack. So if you'll follow me," ordered Madame Pomfrey.

I immediately jumped off the bed she had ushered me to and followed Madame Pomfrey out of the hospital wing clutching my sack dinner.

Once we arrived at the tree, Madame Pomfrey continued instructing on the procedures of entering the Shrieking Shack, "You see that knot on the lower left hand root of the tree?" asked Madame Pomfrey pointing to it.

"I believe so," I answered spotting the knot quickly. The knot was easy enough to spot and hard to miss now that I knew it was there, but to a casual observer it was practically invisible.

"All that needs to be done for the tree to be safe if to prod that knot," instructed Madame Pomfrey conjuring up a long stick with which to prod the knot of the root. She reached the stick forward and then the tree stopped. Before the knot was prodded there was vague and slight movements coming from the tree, but now it was perfectly still almost as if petrified.

"There is no light in the tunnel, do you know the incantation to light a wand?" asked Madame Pomfrey before I could head for the tree. I assumed, though it couldn't be seen, that there was a entryway.

"Isn't it lumos?" I asked in turn pulling out my wand, knowing that it was to be needed.

"That is correct and to douse it is 'nox'. I recommend that you leave your wand in the tunnel before you enter the shack, so as not to damage it. I will try to reach you first thing in the morning. Do you have any question?"

"No," came my simple answer, as I swallowed hard pulling out my wand to do the lumos charm. I was nervous as ever once again. It is insanity to approach a whomping willow head on and that was what I was doing. Beyond that I wasn't entirely sure what to expect along the way or once I got to the shack.

"Before you go, you will reach the other end of the tunnel and it will seem to have dead ended. The entrance to the shack will be over head. Once inside the shack, make sure that the hatch is closed behind you, otherwise the wolf can come back up through the tunnel.

I nodded my head and approached the tree, quickly spotting the entrance, something that couldn't be seen until practically atop it.

"Good luck Mr. Lupin and I will try to reach you first thing in the morning," called Madame Pomfrey as I entered the tunnel. I found that I needed to light my wand immediately upon entering the tunnel, as I heard the tree move above me. I knew that Madame Pomfrey removed the stick from prodding the willow and I was now on my own.

The passage was long and narrow the smell of damp soil was strong. The small area was quite confining and had the ability to make anyone feel a bit claustrophobic. In truth, it was a claustrophobic's worst nightmare. As I walked the long passageway, I felt my head start to spin as my stomach tightened into knots. My nerves were on edge and all I wanted was for this to be over. The walk to the end of the passage did seem endless, though in truth, it was hardly over a mile, but nerves and uncertainty have a tendency to make things longer and worse than what they are.

When I finally reached the end, I was relieved to one degree, but more nervous in another. It was an odd mixture of feelings, but I proceeded opening the hatch and then dousing my wand. Setting it in a safe corner, I climbed up into the shack and closed the hatch as Madame Pompfrey had instructed.

I stood for a minute, sack meal still in hand and looked at my surroundings. It was a dark and dingy place, much like the shed back home only more spacious. Having left my wand behind I set the sack I held in my hands down to explore the shack. I wondered what the place was like and I still had a number of hours to spare before my transformation took effect.

The shack was dimly lit by sunlight breaking through the small cracks in the wood. It wasn't enough for the wolf to break through, but it provided much appreciated light. As I walked through the house, I wondered how the wolf would react to the new environment. I knew I would not have to wait too much longer to find out. After I had my fill of the shack, I went for my supper. It was all I had left to occupy my time until the dreaded hour approached.

Waiting in the shack for the moon was something less than pleasurable. I never had to wait so long in the shed, but then again I never went in so early either. I could just hear the sounds of the train pulling in to the Hogsmeade station, the whistle blows carried over the air and were faint, but easily heard in the quite solitude that I found myself in. The sun was gone by now and it was only a matter of time until the wolf would have complete and utter control once again.

As always, the wolf arrived precisely on schedule and the pain was as excruciating as ever. I was quickly removed from the situation hiding away until it was morning once again. I awoke to find myself on the second floor of the shack. As usual every muscle, bone and joint ached, though this time around I did not suffer the cuts and scratches that I normally did. It surprised me until I realized that the shack was a new environment for the wolf to discover and there was a distinct lack of human presence. If only this could keep up, then my time at school as a werewolf would not be as bad as it could be.

Slowly, I lifted myself up off the floor. The cracks that had allowed the dusk light in the evening prior were now flooded with sunlight. It was tempting as ever to just remain on the floor and sleep, I was so exhausted and the sunlight was quite warm, but I knew better and pushed myself upward groaning as I did so. I debated waiting on Madame Pompfrey, but I decided it was best if I didn't, seeing as I would be tempted to sleep right where I was. I also know it was best for me to get back to the hospital wing where I would be more comfortable and well cared for.

I trudged my way down the steps to the first floor and then dropped myself down into the tunnel, hardly remembering to grab my wand and lighting it, so I could manage my way back. When I approached the base of the tree, I could hear it creaking above me until I prodded the knot. While prodding the knot I lifted my self up and out from the tunnel and then proceeded from the tree. With the prodding of the knot the tree would remain frozen for a time beyond the initial prodding and it lasted long enough for me to get away from it before it could attack me.

I made it almost to the stairs that let into the castle when the door opened revealing Madame Pomfrey. When she saw me she immediately came rushing down to me side exclaiming, "Mr. Lupin I didn't expect to see you out so far!"

"I had an easier night," I managed to exasperate, the fatigue that I had been staving off to make it to the castle suddenly hitting me hard. The walk from the shack to the castle was longer than I had initially thought.

"I can see that," remarked Madame Pomfrey, observing and assessing me as she led me on into the castle. It didn't take long for Madame to find me a bed where she gave me a sleeping potion to help me rest more soundly as she tended to my injuries.

After getting a couple hours of sleep I was awakened by a knowing emptiness in my stomach. Still being tired and sore I would have rather ignored it and continued to sleep, but it was so pervasive that I fully woke up and sat up. I was hungry and very much so.

"Ah, you are awake Mr. Lupin, I assume you could do with a spot of lunch," remarked Madame Pomfrey.

"Yes, please," came my simple reply as she presented me a tray with food.

I gratefully accepted it and began to eat in silence. After a time, Madame Pomfrey spoke to me once again informing me that I would most likely sleep better in my room and that I was free to go when I was finished eating. Quickly swallowing the bit of food I had in my mouth I responded with a simple and polite, "Thank you."

It did not take long for me to finish my lunch and then by recalling the directions that I had picked up from Dopsy, I mad my way back to the common room. Reaching my bed and crashing on it was the one thought that consumed my mind, as I approached the portrait of the fat lady and said the password. As I began to open the door to the common room I collided with another person who let out a squeak with out our collision. The small blond boy barely muttered and apology while I managed a rough one. Judging by his actions and book in his hand, I guessed that he had forgotten his and was late to class, most likely one I should have been in if my circumstances were normal, but they weren't so I headed on to bed, to be woken up by my roommates, well, at least two of them anyway.

It was James who woke me up though I didn't know it at the time, I just remember whispering and then a very persistent someone poking me in the arm a couple of times. I groaned a bit as I lifted my head to see who disturbed my sleep.

A boy with glasses, hazel eyes and the messiest mop of black hair I had ever seen stared down at me, blinking behind the glasses. "'Lo," he greeted, still peering at me curiously.

I sat up and looked over at James and then over at Peter, who stood next to James. He was shorter than James, which mean that Peter was much shorter than me. I also recognized him as the boy I bumped into earlier. Peter's face was round and his eyes looked almost black because they were so small. Then I noticed off to the side, sitting on the fourth bed, yet a third roommate of mine. He was sitting with his arms folded across his chest, head down, obviously sulking. I looked at him with curiosity and wondered what had crawled up his butt and died.

"What are you staring at?" the boy snapped, looking up at me with his gray eyes flashing.

"Just ignore the Grim over there," recommended James as he pushed his black rimmed glasses up his nose. "He's about as cheerful as one," he added, giving the boy a dirty look. "I'm James Potter, and this is Peter Pettigrew," James jerked his thumb at Peter and then he waved lazily in Sirius's direction, and said, "And that's Sirius Black, he thinks he's too good for Gryffindor. You can call him the Grim, too." He added generously.

"I am too good for Gryffindor, traitor," Sirius piped up from his spot on the bed, not looking up from where he was picking lint from the bedspread. "And as soon as my Dad finds out what happened, I'll be out of here," he said firmly. "And stop calling me that or I'll hex you into the middle of next week." He cracked his knuckles and picked up his wand that had been lying next to him on the bed.

"Get stuffed," answered James stoicly, before turning back to me and saying apologetically, "Sorry, didn't quite catch your name."

"Remus Lupin," I answered, still studying the dark-haired, sullen boy sitting across the room.

"Nice to meet you, Remus." James said politely, and then added self-importantly, "If you need any help finding your way around, just ask me, I've got everything down already, my Dad told me all about it," he said, jerking his thumb at his chest. I could see Sirius rolling his eyes across the room and got the impression that this wasn't the first time James had mentioned his Dad.

"Nice to meet you too," I agreed turning my eyes from Sirius and the complaints that he was muttering under his breath.

"So how come you missed the feast? And classes and everything?" asked James. It was clear that he had been wanting to ask that question for some time, but was merely waiting the right opportunity.

"There was a sudden death in the family. My great aunt died, the funeral wasn't until last night." I said quickly, stating the reason my family had agreed upon for my absence.

"That doesn't explain why you weren't in class," squeaked Peter, speaking up for the first time. It surprised me, I had nearly forgotten about him being there.

"I was traveling all night last night to get here," I explained shifting slightly. I was getting uncomfortable with all the questions.

"Sorry mate," remarked James with some sympathy. I could tell that he had more questions, but refrained from asking them. My guess was that he felt bad about making me uncomfortable.

"But your stuff was already here," piped up Peter. I am certain that I lost some color in my face as James shoved Peter in the ribs, silently telling him to shut up.

"Ow!" protested Peter in a slightly whiney voice, rubbing the spot on his side.

"Don't be such a pansy, Peter," sighed James with disgust as he pushed his glasses up his nose yet again and ran a hand through his unruly hair.

"I am not!" protested Peter, sitting up as strongly and proudly as he could, though that didn't amount to much seeing as he was low in stature.

James and I laughed at Peter, while Sirius left the room in a huff.

"What is his problem?" I asked in surprise, looking at the door as it slammed behind him.

"He hates us," explained James, looking away from the door to me, "Claims he should have been in Slytherin and I hope they do resort him," James said vehemently. "He's a right git. Don't know what the Sorting hat was thinking."

" His whole family's in that house," added Peter with a squeak.

"Most ancient and noble house of Black," mocked James. I was pretty sure he was trying to mimic Sirius with his words and actions.

"You really think he'll change houses?" asked Peter tilting his head to the side.

"Change houses?" I asked.

"The Grim claims that once his dad owl's Dumbeldore, all will be made right and he'll be put into the 'only proper house'." James' face scrunched up in disgust.

I later found out that James' family had been in the Gryffindor house for generations, so he had a sort of inborn dislike for Slytherins and took personal insult to Sirius' bashing of the Gryffindor house. I, personally, don't blame Sirius for his actions no matter what sort of git he was being at the time. I don't pretend to understand him and state what he was going through at that time, but I do know that he grew up being told that Slytherin was the only acceptable house. Thus being placed in what he had been taught to have been the worst house had to be devastating, frightening even. Not that Sirius would ever admit to having been frightened during that time though


	6. Chapter 6

{{**A/N**: Much thanks to my amazing beta Roseinwinter. She was a saint in helping me organize this chapter and she is my expert in writing Sirius. The Sirius you see (and much of James) is her work and this fic wouldn't be possible without her!}}

To say that Sirius was difficult to live with at first is to put things mildly. Sirius was relentless, constantly insulting us and blaming every problem on the person who was closest at hand. His misplaced toothbrush was James' fault, supposedly having moved it on purpose. Peter and James snored, and were victims of the silencing charm, which Sirius 'forgot' to remove in the morning. (They did snore, particularly Peter, and I, being a light sleeper, really didn't mind the silencing charm, though Sirius wasn't in the right.) If our things were on his side of the room he tossed them out the window.

By weeks end, we were all ready for Sirius to move out and go to Slytherin, but apparently we weren't going to be so lucky.

"Remus," James called to me, waving his hand frantically as we were leaving Transfiguration. Pausing, I waited for James to catch up.

"I want to talk to you about the Grim," he said seriously.

I gave a half-laugh and a grimace. As morbid of a nickname that James bestowed upon Sirius, it made me laugh when I heard it, particularly the way James said it, like he had a bad taste in his mouth, and the way his face tended to scrunch up a bit at the sound of it.

"He's a bloody menace and needs to be stopped," announced James grandly, flicking his eyes up at me to see my reaction.

"He has been grating on my nerves," I admitted, being quite gracious, seeing how so many of my things were ruined by Sirius, particularly the things that got flung from Gryffindor tower.

"Come on Remus!" cried James impatiently, stamping his foot for emphasis, "You don't mean to tell me you weren't mad when he tossed your towel out the window while you were in the shower." He pointed out.

James had hit a sensitive spot for me. It wasn't a pleasant feeling, having to get dressed while still wet. I had to bite my tongue to keep from snapping at Sirius for that, and apparently James knew it.

I let out a deep sigh and kept myself from getting angry all over again. "Alright he's been a nightmare." I admitted finally.

"That's the ticket! Now to teach the Grim a lesson!" he said in excitement, rubbing his hands together in anticipation.

"Wait, I didn't agree too…" I began, but James cut me off, ignoring my protests and launching into his plans.

"We'll teach him a lesson, make him listen. In short, sit on him and make him hear reason and if that doesn't work, on to plan B."

"What's plan B?" I asked as James adjusted his glasses.

"I'll tell you later," answered James, waving me off as we entered our next class.

Plan A would not come into play until later that night after dinner, when we were all up in our dorm room. James, Peter and I had just entered the room, stuffed from the pudding they'd had for desert. Sirius hadn't been at dinner, so he must have been up here for some time. He looked upset and a bit red around the eyes, but I wasn't sure. He crumpled up a note and shoved it into his pocket, jumping from his bed and heading toward the door as we entered. James stopped him with a hand on his chest, "We need to talk."

"Not now," growled Sirius moving to pass James.

"No, now seems like a good time to me," answered James, a look of determination in his face as he pushed Sirius back. It probably wasn't the best time to talk to Sirius, but I seemed to be the only one who noticed how upset he was. Besides, there was no stopping James when he made up his mind.

"Get out of the way!" answered Sirius dangerously, taking on an equally determined look. There was a fire in his eyes that alerted me there would soon be a fight on our hands. He pushed James back, hard, almost making James bump into me. They shoved back and forth, grappling to get a grip on each other and before I knew it, Peter and I were involved. I think I remember seeing Sirius take a swing at James and that's when I jumped in, Peter naturally following. In the end, with some struggling and wrestling, Sirius was brought down and 'made to listen'. It ended up with James and I on his chest, each pinning down an arm, and Peter sitting atop Sirius' legs. Sirius yelled and argued, but eventually recognizing defeat, he became silent glaring at James, almost looking beyond him.

"Now listen here!" insisted James with a glare, not quite up to Sirius' standard, but still powerful all the same. He sounded a bit winded, but we all were. "We're sick of you treating us like dirt, like you're really something special and we won't take it any more! It's not our fault that you are here and in fact, we wish you weren't, but since you had to go and be in Gryffindor, suck it up and stop being a royal git!"

There was a time of silence among us. Sirius continued to glare and I'm certain that if looks could kill, James and I would be piles of ash, closely followed by Peter. It seemed like the silence lasted forever. I don't know how long James, Peter and I sat there on top of Sirius, but after a time James spoke up, "All right mates. Let's let him go. We've given him enough."

The three of us stood up simultaneously and allowed Sirius some room. There was no telling what he was going to do. Standing up, Sirius brushed himself off, a sneer still on his face. Before we knew what was happening, Sirius pulled out his wand and cast the tarantula spell on James. As James' legs started going in opposite directions, Sirius left with out speaking a word. And that was the start of The Great Pranking War of '71.

Things went back and forth between Sirius and James for about a week, a minor hex and jinx there, a curse on the side. At the end of the week, James decided to step it up a notch. During that time, all of Sirius' concentration was on pranks and life became a bit less nightmarish, particularly for Peter and I. James obviously wasn't satisfied with basic pranks, he wanted something really spectacular.

"That is it!" exclaimed James, "He wants out then he's out!"

"What do you mean by that?" asked Peter who had taken to keeping out of the way of the pranks to avoid some of the more nasty side effects and carelessly thrown hexes.

James' only response was a mischievous smile. I tried to argue with him, but he was insistent. He even gave me an ultimatum of sorts, "If you don't help I'll think you agree with him. I will do this with or without you! If I do this by myself then you're next!"

What was I to do? Not helping did not seem like an option at the time, and I did not want to lose one of my only friends.

"What if we use a levitation charm?" I offered, trying to make the work before us less bothersome.

"Why didn't I think of that?" asked James more of himself than me, "I knew there was a reason I liked you Lupin!" he said, punching me in the arm congenially.

Between the three of us, we were able to get things done in no time. With some difficulty and patience, we successfully got Sirius' bed down into the common room, along with his trunk. It was a miracle no prefects were around at the time.

"That should get the message to him," announced a satisfied James as he admired his handy work.

"Now what?" asked Peter observing our work.

"Now we wait." James said mischievously.

"What if we get in trouble for this?" I voiced, finally thinking of the repercussions of our actions.

"Don't worry about it," assured James heading up to the dorm room. I regretfully listened to James and followed him up with Peter. It was less than an hour later that there was a yelling down in the common room.

Out of curiosity James, Peter and I went rushing down the stairs. Sirius was obviously livid and there was a prefect trying to calm him down.

When Sirius saw us, particularly James, he started to throw hexes and jinxes. James and I responded with spells of our own. James was more inclined to return hex for hex and curse for curse while I took a more defensive position, even Peter had his wand out. The mini battle did not last too long, for the prefect disarmed us. He had gotten hit with one of the spells, and sported a rather large nose. It was clear that he was not pleased. "You four, with me now!" ordered the Prefect, not even bothering to fix his nose.

James and I exchanged looks knowing that this couldn't be good. Silenced, the four of us followed the now livid prefect, Sirius shooting us dirty looks the whole way. It was obvious that Sirius still wasn't pleased with the current situation at hand, but then again, none of us were. We were led straight away to Professor McGonagall's office.

"Professor! I…" started in the prefect letting his anger spill forth.

"I'll take it from here, Mr. Sudlow," spoke Professor McGonagall over the prefect, "I suggest you go see Madam Pomfrey about your nose. I'll get further information about the situation from you later."

The prefect opened his mouth as if to protest, but one look frorm Professor McGonagall caused him to close his mouth and turn to exit, I remember sitting there wishing that I would never get a look like that from her.

"Now as for you four!" exclaimed Professor McGonagall with a stern look as she turned to us, "I do not pretend to know all that has been going on among you, but I know enough! It is completely uncalled for! You are not serving the name of Gryffindor well, and I want no remarks from you, Mr. Black! As much as you want to be placed in the house of Slytherin, that is not so. You were placed in my house for a reason and I expect proper behavior! Now, seeing how you all do not seem to get along, I'll expect all of you to serve detention together. You will be polishing the armor of the armor gallery starting at 9:00pm sharp. There, you will find a way to get along with each other civilly or else you will be serving this very detention together every week until you can!" she finished, her eyes flashing and her lips pressed into a thin line.

James and Sirius both opened their mouths in protest, but stopped short with one look from McGonagall. This was going to be one interesting detention.

After being dismissed from Professor McGonagall's office, Sirius took off from the group not saying a word. James, of course, spoke immediately about how it was Sirius' fault and despite it all he should still be placed in Slytherin. I didn't really pay attention to what all James had to say my mind was rather focused on the concept of receiving a detention and what my mum and dad would think. I hated the fact that I had received a detention already and we weren't even halfway through the first half of the semester.

Before long it was time to serve detention. There had been no sign of Sirius the entire time, which of course wasn't really a bother to any of us seeing as things weren't very pleasant with Sirius around. James Peter and I arrived at the same time Sirius did, all of us approaching Professor McGonagall who was already waiting for us. "Here are the rags you will be using, and I will taking your wands." Professor McGonagall held out her hand for our wands, which Peter and I both relinquished, though it took some time with both Sirius and James. It was clear that neither of them wanted to give their wands up, but with a stern look from Professor McGonagall they did eventually, give them up.

Professor McGonagall made sure we each took a rag and polish and then stated that she would be back within an hour. It was fortunate that Professor McGonagall didn't wait longer, for things did not remain civil at all. I was polishing one of the pieces of armor when all of a sudden there was a clatter and Sirius and James were at each other's throats. It was all Peter and I could do to keep them apart. McGonagall was livid, never have I seen her face so pinched, it is something I hope never to see again in my life.

In short our detention together didn't seem to have helped things. In fact, it made it worse. It was on a Monday morning when it truly started to escalate. Sirius had the habit of never drawing his bed curtains when he slept, and James decided to change that fact. He stealthily pulled them closed, and sealed them shut, shooting us a grin.

When Sirius woke and discovered this, he yelled, obviously outraged, and using some choice words. "Let me out, you wankers, I swear I'll…" he cursed, and we could see the curtains flapping frantically. James didn't respond to Sirius, but remarked to Peter and I, "I thought it would be nice not to see the ugly git's face for once."

"You aren't going to let him out?" I asked, getting a bit concerned as Sirius's pleas became more frantic. I would have myself, but James probably would have been mad at me and I had already pushed my luck.

"Eventually," shrugged James casually as he began to lead the way out., "Breakfast anyone?"

I hesitated to follow, but did. By the end of the day there was no sign of Sirius. I started to feel bad for just leaving him like that. Sure, he had been a git but it still didn't mean James should have done what he did and it didn't give me a right to just allow it to happen. I was perfectly capable of stopping it, but I didn't. He had been trapped all day and I felt bad for it. When I knew that James and Peter were in the library, I pretended that I had left one of my books upstairs and went to go get it.

Reaching the tower and our room, I called, "Sirius?" There was no answer from behind the black curtains. I hastily drew my wand, and performed the charm to unseal the curtains. I peeled one side back, peering onto the bed. Sirius was there, curled into a ball, seemingly asleep. There were wet stains on his cheeks and I could see he'd been crying. The bright light obviously woke him, because he sat up with a start, blinking and rubbing his eyes. "Sirius, what's wrong?" I asked, feeling guilty all the more.

The tears welled up in his eyes again as he was obviously unable to stop them. "My..Mum." he choked slightly, wiping his nose with his sleeve. "I..I used to be afraid to sleep with the curtains closed, because I thought they were dementors." He sniffled again, fighting desperately not to cry anymore. "She said…she said Black's weren't supposed to be afraid of anything. She used to do that. Make me sleep with them closed." He finished, rubbing his eyes and looking defiantly at me, daring me to tease him about crying.

Hearing Sirius explanation, I felt horrid for what I allowed to happen. I couldn't believe his mum would do such a thing to him. My mum was never that way. She tried to comfort me in my fears rather than forcing them upon me. "I'm... I'm sorry," I answered with a grim expression, not looking directly at Sirius. "We didn't know. If I had I would have said something more."

Looking up at Sirius, I watched as he fiercely rubbed his seemed that he was frustrated with himself for crying. I tried not to watch and was surprised when he suddenly lifted his wand and pointed at me. "Nobody hears about this, ok?" he stated his look stern and determined.

Of course I wouldn't say a word. It was rather embarrassing as an eleven year old to have a bunch of people know that you were crying. I would never do such a thing and thus I responded vowing, "Not a word."

I eyed the wand carefully, hoping silently that he would lower it. Sirius eyed me for a moment, almost discerning whether I was lying or not and eventually pocketed his wand. I was relieved when he put his wand away as it is never comfortable to be on the wrong side of a wand.

Taking a moment to be brave, I spoke up, "This whole fighting needs to stop before someone gets hurt even more." It really did need to stop and hopefully Sirius would be more willing to listen, at least he was more open to it than when we sat on him.

Sirius looked at me with his sharp gray eyes and answered, ""If you think I'm going to be friends with that Potter prat, think again, Lupin." He then folded his arms across his chest.

"You don't have to be friends with him," I offered, keeping with the soft approach, "You don't even have to be friends with Peter or I, but this fighting thing has to come to an end some time. You don't want to be polishing armor every Monday for the rest of the year do you?" I asked hoping that Sirius would agree to that much. I could tell it was a delicate situation when dealing with Sirius, so I purposely tread lightly.

I watched as Sirius bit his lip to prevent a bit of a smile from showing on his face. I had never seen Sirius smile before and he was entirely a different person when he smiled, he was less scary and didn't look so mean. "No," he responded sullenly before admitting, "The polish makes me get hives."

I couldn't help it at that point, a laugh escaped my lips. It was kind of funny how the polish gave Sirius hives. "All the more reason to at least be peaceable," I suggested as I watched Sirius' mouth twitch to form another smile, but before he could possibly get upset again I quickly added, "You don't have to be our friend."

I was okay with not being friends. If he didn't want to be friends that was alright as long as there was peace in the room. I was certain I could live with a roommate that I sort of ignored. It wasn't ideal, but it was better than having my towel thrown out of the tower window while still in the shower.

"Well, you're not as bad as Potter." Sirius remarked, which I think was his way of saying that he would be civil to me at least. "And I'm sorry about your towel." he added, almost if he could read my thoughts.

I was surprised by his apology to say the least and answered, "It's all right. Just don't do it again." My statement wasn't a threat, but rather more of a request. An awkward silence came between us and I spoke up once more, mentioning how I needed to get back to library for some studying. I then grabbed a book from my trunk and headed out leaving Sirius to his thoughts and silence, glad to have made some progress with him, of course James would never believe it and I never did tell him how Sirius got out and made it to dinner that night.


	7. Chapter 7

It was amazing what the talk with Sirius ended up doing. I didn't know what to expect from it, but what I saw was much better than I had ever seen before. At dinner Sirius was one to keep to himself and eat in silence, but this night he actually addressed me, it was to ask me to pass the butter to him. That was more than usual, generally Sirius just went for what he wanted and didn't care who it bothered, generally it ended up being Peter.

From dinner the four of us, less than enthusiastically, made for the trophy room, seeing as the armor gallery was polished last week. That and I don't think Professor McGonnagall wanted us near easily accessible weapons. Entering the trophy room, it was clear that Professor McGonnagall was not pleased. She fixed each of us with a sharp glare as she spoke, "I should hope that tonight's detention will be better than last," her voice was rigid and terse. "If I see what I saw last week, you can count on next Monday being a lot worse! Now I shall be back in one hour."

Admittedly, I flinched a bit as Professor McGonnagall gave us her lecture. Never in my life had I imagined having a professor so livid with me. It was not something I found enjoyable, though to tell the truth, McGonnagall was more livid with James and Sirius than Peter and I. We just had the misfortune of being included in by association. Not to say the detention wasn't deserved for neither of us conducted ourselves in the best manner. When Professor McGonnagall left, I purposely placed myself closer to James to try and keep the peace between he and Sirius, I decided to trust Sirius after our talk though he didn't make any guarantees, something in me told me to trust him and I never doubted my instincts.

I felt bad for Peter having to work near Sirius seeing as I think he was afraid of Sirius, but I couldn't allow things to get out of hand once again like they did last time. As most detentions, we started out silent. The only noise any of us made was Peter, he let out a small squeak as Sirius glared at him. I gave Sirius a bit of a look for it, but I believe he either didn't see it or rather ignored me, either of which wouldn't surprise me.

Though detention started out silent it did not remain that way for long. James broke the silence divulging a plan for a prank against Lily, seeing as she accidentally fell victim to a few that were meant for Sirius and she reacted quite explosively to them. I think it was one of the reasons why he liked to make her life a misery.

Though I felt bad for Lily having James plot against her, it was nice for it not to be a plot against Sirius. It seemed that after he received a howler from his mum and dad he seemed to cool off a bit in getting the best of Sirius, which was a blessing, to tell the truth. As James continued on about how to get Lily, I generally showed my disapproval, as I continued to polish trophies.

"Come on, Remus! We can't do it with out you!" finally proclaimed James slapping me on the back nearly causing me to spill my polish. "You're the only one smart enough to figure out all those complicated spells in that book." James gave me one of his infamous grins. By this time, I was already becoming known for being a bookworm.

"You have to admit, it would be funny to see all of Evan's freckles turn green," he added seriously as he carelessly rubbed a trophy with his rag.

"She wouldn't be too happy about it," I debated.

"Of course she wouldn't be happy! That's kind of the point," remarked James. After his remark I was surprised to hear a snicker come from Sirius before he spoke up. "It'd just be a color change spell. You have to set a target though and Evans has a lot of freckles."

After hearing Sirius pipe up, I wasn't sure how James would take it, so I broke in with a response of my own though. I feel James would have taken it well whether I spoke up or not. "The color spell part is easy, the tricky par is the targeting spell. It would have to be a spell combination, which Flitwick doesn't cover until next term. I may have to check some Latin references to see if it could be done."

Yes, I admit that I was already agreeing to this prank. It wasn't like I had anything against Lily, but I was finally finding friends, something I desperately did not want to loose. Not to mention that the whole idea was a challenge and I do love challenges. I always find it difficult to not take up a challenge and this certainly was a bit of a challenge.

"Well, what do you suggest, Black?" James asked, stiffly, after looking from me to Peter. It seemed that he was going to play nice. Both seemed to have come to that point, though neither of them were going to allow their grudges to entirely disappear. That much was made clear by the glare Sirius threw at James before addressing me.

"Why don't you just ask Flitwick about it? All the teachers already fawn over you anyway. You can just tell Flitwick you want a head start for next term," he said with a shrug before focusing back on the trophy he was working on.

James seemed to be studying me. I could literally see the gears turning in his head, "Actually…" he spoke, "that's not a bad idea." He glanced over at Sirius while my eyes darted to Peter, as if to seek his help, but I should have known I wouldn't get much from him. Peter was a follower not a leader and he was just trying his best to stay out of this. His attention was almost full on the trophies he was working on, though I knew he was listening and probably hoping for the best.

Seeing as I was on my own I returned, "I hadn't thought of asking Flitwick. But don't you think it unrealistic to be wanting to get ahead next term? We've hardly gotten into this term."

Sirius donned a look of disbelief and glanced to James before answering me with a simple "No," which I am certain James agreed with.

"I'm still not sure about the prank anyway," I continued trying to get out of the prank, though I knew it was too late and I was in. "We could wind up in more trouble for it if we get caught," I added with a slight frown.

"Don't be such a sissy Remus," argued James, giving me a frown that told me not to back out. "We're not going to do anything really bad. It is going to be funny," he insisted to me before turning to Sirius informing him, "You can help."

"Don't worry, I won't make it a habit," answered Sirius with a roll of his eyes.

This was when Peter finally spoke up, "I don't want to have more detention! My mum and dad are mad as it is! Besides I can't stand the smell of the polish!" Here Peter sniffed almost as if to prove his point.

"We won't get in trouble if we don't get caught," answered Sirius with a Cheshire cat grin, "And were not going to get caught, are we?" he asked rhetorically. He then scooted over closer holding out his hand saying, "What we do stays secret, okay? No telling a teacher. Not telling anyone else but us four. Agreed?"

His hand hung in mid-air, waiting for ours to join his. James was the first in, followed by my hesitant one, then Peter's very reluctant one. It was with this pact that friendships started to form. They weren't mad that night and the first steps to one of the greatest friendships ever seen were begun.

Seeing as the four of us, in a way, came to terms with each other, we were not assigned detention for the following week, some thing we all were grateful about. During the week, things were rather peaceful, which we were all grateful about, as we all worked on the prank of turning Lily's freckles green. I approached Professor Flitwick about the spell as I had agreed to do. Much to my surprise at the time, he was more than pleased to I was such an eager learner and readily explained things to me. It was then that I realized that I, indeed, was something of a teacher's pet.

It wasn't until Thursday that Peter had gone off to send out a letter and Sirius took another walk after his most recent letter, that I stepped into the bathroom while James read a note from his mum. Before long there was a great pounding on the bathroom door with James desperately calling out my name. Not having a clue what was going on I answered the door as quickly as I could.

"What? What?" came my reply, as I opened the door, I was beginning to think that Sirius did something again, though it wasn't the usual James response.

"Remus! It's horrible!" cried out James, "Worse than ever! I can't believe it! It can't be true!"

"What James?" I asked, stepping into the room as I watched him flail about in a fit of what I consider to be over dramatics. "What is so horrible that you can't believe it?"

"Look!" announced James shoving a letter that had been waving about. I couldn't very well read the note with James waving it about so I took it from him to read it. I got no further than 'Dear Son,' when James blurted out, "Sirius and I are related!"

The way that James spoke these words you would swear someone had gone off and shot his dog if he had one. "What?" I ended up asking, with surprise, my eyes shooting up from the letter to James, who looked as pained as he sounded. His wild hair all the more so from his hands running through it. It looked as if hew as ready to pull his hair out.

"Look at the second page," answered James, running his fingers through his hair once more.

My brow knitted together as I moved to the second page and saw a family tree my eyes followed the neat lines from James' name to Dorea Potter (Black) and then over to a brother flowing down to a Walaburga Black mother of, my eyes couldn't believe it at first, mother of Sirius Black. Cousins? It was unreal!

"Cousins!" cried James, "Second cousins! Practically brothers! Tell me there's a mistake! Remus, tell me you see something wrong! Better yet pinch me, so I can wake up from this nightmare!"

I shook my head at James. He had definitely flung himself into the over dramatics. Second cousins were hardly brothers. "I'm sorry James, but this isn't a nightmare and I don't think there are any mistakes."

"No!" cried out James, in seeming agony and he fell back onto his bed he seemed almost to be wallowing in pain.

"It's not bad as all that, is it?" I asked gently, approaching James not sure how to handle the situation at all.

"Not bad as all that?" demanded James, suddenly sitting up bolt right up, looking at me like I was utterly mad. "Don't you get it? I'm related to Black!" He said each word slowly and distinctively, almost as if each word had a period on the end . "Oh Merlin! That means I have Black blood in me! Just when the nightmare couldn't be worse!"

"Doesn't that mean your mum would have been in Slytherin?" I asked, my thoughts coming out of my mouth as they came to my mind. It was a mistake to allow those words to slip from my mouth.

"What?" demanded James his voice almost cracking. "No, no, no, no, no! This can't be happening! This can't be true! My mum a… a…" James couldn't finish the sentence and just let out a moan as he paced he head in the palm of his hand.

"Kill me now, Remus, will you?" he asked not looking up, but shaking his head.

I didn't know what to do at all. He was over-reacting to the revelation that he was related to Sirius, but at the same time, I did feel bad for him, seeing how much Sirius and James didn't seem to like each other. It took a while to talk James out of his 'depression', but eventually he came around and agreed to come to supper, leaving the note behind on his bed.

At dinner, Sirius ended up catching up with James, Peter and I to discuss the prank, being sure that we each knew our job in accomplishing the task. There was an air of excitement that came from both James and Sirius. (It seemed that James decided to forget that he was related to Sirius at this point in favor of the prank). Peter was curious about the whole deal while I still wasn't too sure. I never was sure about the prank from the start, but I had become part of the plan already and was to be included whether I wanted to be or not. Though I did wonder at the time if I was actually doing wrong by just getting information, seeing as I wasn't the one casting the spell. This was a dilemma I had for a couple of years while at Hogwarts.

Each of us had our set assignments, mine was to get the information, which I already had by that point and thus I was graciously eliminated from having to do the dirty work of the prank, seeing as I didn't want to do it. Peter's assignment was to keep Lily in one spot for a time distracting her while James and Sirius did the actual work by casting the spells; they had been practicing all week aiming at each other and other things. It was their game of war, so to speak and nothing damaging or bad happened save for the fact that my favorite pair of socks were turned pink for a time and neither one wanted to fess up to doing it and turn it back, they found my less than pleased expression to be all too funny.

Admittedly, the dinner was rather entertaining, particularly when James and Sirius started trading off portraying how they expected Lily to react to the prank. After dinner, the four of us went back to the dorm room, still laughing about the prank.

When we all initially entered the dorm room we were still laughing a bit about the following day's prank. None of us had noticed that James' letter has fallen off of his bed and landed by Sirius. Sirius was the first to pick it up I assume he thought it was another one of his letters that he never allowed anyone to see. Otherwise, I think he would have left it, seeing as he wasn't the neatest person in the world and the neatness and orderliness on his part of the room was part of his forced up-bringing, though those habits seemed to be gradually slipping.

Sirius' eyes roved the letter and it did not take him long before he looked up and asked showing the family tree, "Is this some kind of joke?"

James and I exchanged looks, trying to decide who would tell the truth, Peter of course was clueless and was trying to peer at the parchment to see what it was about, but at the same time he kept his distance. It seemed like he was still hesitant to get too near Sirius.

"Well," I started, not too sure how Sirius would react after what happened with James.

"It's true," blurted out James, his look turned rather glum now. "According to my mum we are cousins."

"Can't be," answered Sirius, dumping the paper onto my bed, seeing as it was closest and James' was across the room. "Black blood is too good for you." It seemed that Sirius was not too happy about the concept of being related, though it seemed he knew the tree to be true. He was putting on his royal snooty pureblood act once more. I call it an act because by this point I was beginning to doubt Sirius' undying belief in being the almighty pureblood. Not to say that he didn't think he was the best, that would be Sirius being his normal coincident self, but the snootiness did not seem to fit him, particularly after spending a week plotting a prank with him.

"What do you mean by that?" demanded James taking offense. "What makes you think I'm not good enough to be a Black?"

This time Peter and I exchanged looks, was James talking like he wanted to be a Black? We couldn't believe our ears until he stated, "I think it's the matter of my being too good for Black Blood! Who wants to be your stupid relation anyway?"

"Like I want you for a relation?" answered Sirius, glaring at James, who returned it in equal. It seemed to me that there was more to the argument than what was said I just couldn't pin point it at the time, but I think they both sort of liked the idea of being related and took offense to the other rejecting the idea.

I'll never know if my guess is correct, but I do know I broke in at that point calling out, "Guys!" in a warning tone. I wanted to put a stop to the arguing before another major fight broke out again, causing us to wind up with a detention once more. I never had to say more for James announced, "I'm going to bed!"

With that he threw himself on his bed and drew his tapestries. Sirius then turned to his own bed without a word and laid down facing the wall. I turned to Peter and gave a silent shrug before changing for bed, crashing only after I looked over the family tree Mrs. Potter sent James once more.


	8. Chapter 8

Though Sirius and James fought before bed, by morning it seemed as if nothing happened the night before. Each of us prepped for the day as per our normal routine. We didn't talk about the prank much seeing as we all knew what we were to do and where we were supposed to be in order to pull it off. The plan was set for after Charms, just before lunch. Throughout the week, James reassured me that it was really a harmless prank. It was that idea that kept me from trying to stop the prank, along with the concept that I did not want to lose the friendships I had formed.

Breakfast passed uneventfully that day, though we did exchange looks when Lily passed by. Charms also passed without a hitch. I don't remember what the lesson was on, but that wasn't exactly the memorable part of the day. Rather, the events that followed the class were.

Lily was one of the first to leave the classroom. James and Sirius gave a look to Peter, meaning for him to follow Lily out and catch her to, 'ask a question'. The rest of us followed shortly after. I didn't take long to spot Lily, her flaming red hair causing her to stick out in any crowd, and sure enough, there was Peter talking to her, but it seemed like he was losing her fast.

"Why don't you just ask, Remus?" demanded Lily, with her brow furrowed, as she looked accusing and suspicious of Peter, who was faltering a bit.

I stopped without hesitation or thinking and stepped into the conversation with the words, "Ask me what?" As I stopped to save Peter, for which he looked grateful, James and Sirius continued on. If this prank was to pull through, we needed to keep Lily in one spot and Peter's attempt didn't look promising. That was where I came in, keeping the prank from going out the window, like my towel did a couple of weeks prior. The situation of the failed prank would have been about as uncomfortable as having to put clothes on wet. I knew this prank was more important than just some fun. It was the first thing that James and Sirius got along on and if the peace were to be kept in the dorm, I felt that this prank had to be a success.

"Peter wanted to know about the levitating charm, I told him to ask you. You're his friend after all and the first one to do the charm. Why he didn't ask you in the first place is beyond me." Lily said, gazing at us suspiciously.

"You did complete the charm right after me," I admitted. "I think it was a matter that I said the spell a bit faster than you did."

"That still doesn't explain why Peter is asking me rather than you. You are his friend after all," countered Lily, giving me a suspicious eye. I think she was starting to suspect something was up, she just didn't know what.

"That's something you'll have…to ask Peter," I faltered as Lily's freckles were beginning to turn green. I never expected them to turn such a bright vivid green. I could feel my face start to burn with embarrassment and guilt, as I most certainly had a hand in the prank, more than just gathering information. Lily's eyes didn't rest on me for long as she turned to look at Peter in an expectant manner, waiting for an answer. As Lily's focus trained on him, the last of her freckles were turned bright neon green. Peter's eyes grew to the size of saucers as he stared at Lily, speechless, gaping at her.

"Well?" demanded a now impatient Lily of the mute Peter, whose mouth was opening and shutting like a cod fish. I'm certain Lily would have demanded to know what was going on, as Peter and I were looking more and more guilty by the second, until Sirius stuck his head around the corner.

"Are you two coming or not? Hurry up, that classroom gives me the creeps. I hate sitting still," he shuddered in mock horror as he beckoned for us to follow him. "Hey, Evans," he said, acknowledging her with a big grin and a nod.

Sirius' words were enough to snap me back into focus. My eyes flitted down the hall to James and Sirius. It was now or never in making our escape before Lily discovered what had happened to her.

"Come on, Peter," I said, purposely not making eye contact with Lily as I grabbed Peter's sleeve, pulling him down the hall. It was at that moment that people began to notice Lily's green freckles. We approached James and Sirius who were holding matching grins in appreciation of a well-accomplished prank.

We had just managed to round the corner when we heard a high pitched scream of frustration. We exchanged quick looks, and then made double time to reach a lower level away from the wrath of Lily Evans. James was in the lead and led us down a corridor away from the stairs.

"Where are we going?" panted Peter, as we all came to a dead end. James smiled mischievously, and pushed a low-lying brick in the wall with his hand. The wall swung inward into a passageway.

"My dad told me about it," he shrugged before leading the way in, wand alight. "Don't think it's a good idea to eat in the Great Hall," James remarked as he continued on down the passage, all of us in tow. He seemed to relish being the leader and knowing the most about the castle.

"Then how will we get lunch?" demanded Peter, who still seemed to be winded from our run.

"The kitchens," came James' cool answer, as if it was the most obvious thing in the world. "The elves are always happy to help," added James knowingly.

"Not if it's Kreacher," mumbled Sirius in a dark manner.

"Kreacher?" I asked, picking up on Sirius' remark. My ears are rather sharper when it nears a moon and that was only a few days off.

Sirius gave me an odd look, more than likely wondering how I heard him, before he explained the name, "Our house elf. His greatest ambition in life is to have his head cut off and hung on our wall. We've done that to all our house elves." he explained, as if this was a perfectly normal thing to do.

"Here we are mates," announced James, bringing our group to a stop. "Just outside the Hufflepuff common room." He continued to lead the way, right up to a portrait of a bowl of fruit. James had a bit of a commanding sense about him as he reached up and tickled the pear in the bowl, which giggled and became a door handle.

"Are you sure we're allowed to do this?" asked Peter, who had finally caught his breath, although he was still red in the face from our sprint.

"Does it matter?" asked Sirius pointedly, stepping into the kitchens first. It seemed like he was done allowing James to be the lead. Upon entering, the elves flocked to us, eager to serve what we wished, calling each of us master or sir. We ordered the worst sorts of food imaginable, all of them being high in sugar, but none of us cared, we were celebrating. The elves were quick about getting us our food, and periodically would ask if there was anything else they could get for us. Sirius wound up making the remark that he could never see Kreacher working in a place like this.

As lunch neared the end, James suddenly made a remark, "You know what the major problem with that prank was?" He allowed the question to hang in the air for a moment as a wicked grin played on his face, "Not seeing Evan's face when she found out."

Sirius let out a bark-like laugh while Peter tittered with amusement. I gave a half-laugh, so as not to draw attention to myself. As I munched on a chip, I began to think about the prank and feel bad for what we did. The prank was "harmless" as James told me many times, but it still didn't make it right.

"You alright there, Remus?" asked James, slapping me on the back a few moments later.

"I'm fine," I lied. "Just tired, I suppose." It was a half-truth really, because my insomnia was taking it's toll, seeing as the moon was drawing near.

"Haven't been sleeping much have you?" remarked Sirius, looking at me with a discerning eye.

"No, I haven't," I responded, a surprised look on my face, not sure how Sirius knew that I hadn't been sleeping too much as of late.

"Seen you get up to read once or twice," he explained, with a shrug.

After our lunch, we headed for Potions, where Lily was conspicuously absent. It made me feel like there was lead in the pit of my stomach. I really began to wish I hadn't helped with the prank, but what was I to do? Say no and lose my friends? The afternoon and evening seemed to drag on as I continued to feel rather guilty. James would periodically ask if I was all right and I would respond that I was just tired, which of course I don't think James believed for a second.

Eventually, I grew tired of being asked and decided to take a walk. I thought maybe if I owled my mum and dad for advice and I knew neither of them would approve of that. I even worried if I did send such a letter that my dad would tell me I shouldn't keep the friends I currently had. He'd already hinted at it in his most recent owl, mentioning their potential bad influence on me. I admit the guys did have a bad influence on me, but I liked them, and they were my first real friends (Sirius included). Not to mention, they were my dorm mates and there was no way of getting away from them, entirely.

As I walked along the corridors, it seemed that everyone was being especially quiet today, there wasn't the usual din that pervaded the castle halls. I had only passed two other students during my stroll, so it was safe to say that the halls were dead, thus it was no surprise that I could here a faint sniffling noise on the other side of the door that led to the clock tower. I poked my head in out of curiosity and my surprise, it was Lily Evans, sitting on the stone steps, crying. She no longer had green freckles, but her face was streaked and blotchy looking from crying. She quickly wiped away a few tears with a tissue that was in her right hand as she tried to conceal a letter that was in her left. It looked like it was tear stained. Walking in on Lily, like I did, made me feel even more guilty.

"What do you want?" she demanded with a sniff, as she defensively went for her wand, though we both knew it would do no good, seeing as defensive spells weren't taught for another week or so.

"I don't want anything," I meekly answered, stepping further in, yet respecting Lily's space. " I wanted to say, I'm sorry," I mumbled, looking at my feet.

"Come again?" answered Lily looking confused and defensive at the same time. It was clear that she had not heard me the first time, so I had to repeat myself, saying that I came to apologize.

"Why don't I believe you?" asked a still skeptical and defensive Lily.

"I know you don't have a reason to trust me after what happened today," I answered, "but I promise this isn't another set up and I really am sorry for what happened today."

"You came in here just to apologize?" asked Lily blinking her green eyes in disbelief.

"Pretty much." I gave a shrug before admitting, "I heard a person crying first."

"So you're just apologizing because you caught me crying?" demanded Lily, slightly offended.

"No," I quickly responded, "I've actually been feeling bad about what we did to you. James thought it was funny and then Sirius joined…" I trailed off, realizing I was rambling a bit. Lily probably wouldn't understand my reasoning for not stopping the prank in the first place, much less participating in it. It was the first thing Sirius and James agreed upon and were able to get along and it made me feel like I belonged to a group. It was selfish of me to allow Lily to suffer just so I could fit it, but it was over and done with.

"Why me?" demanded Lily, "Is it because of my red hair? Or because I'm a mudblood? I get enough..." Lily seemed like she was on the verge of a heated tangent, as she gestured with her letter that she had tried to hide earlier, but she stopped herself short and blushed a bit.

"None of those reasons," I answered, knowing James hated the term mudblood and judging people based on blood. He nearly slugged Sirius for using the term. I only say nearly slugged for the sole reason that Sirius just managed to dodge James' punch.

"I don't know exactly why you were picked," I answered honestly, "but I'm sorry."

Lily simply nodded and focused on the ground. There was an awkward silence that settled between us until I spoke up, "I should," I gestured to the door behind me, "probably get going." Lily's eyes darted up at me as I made my exit. I still felt bad for pulling the prank on her, but at lest I did feel better for apologizing to her.


	9. Chapter 9

Time seemed to pass fairly quickly at Hogwarts, what with being caught up in Sirius's mood swings, detentions and planning pranks, it was astounding how another moon was on top of me. I wasn't looking forward to this one especially, because I knew this one was not going to be an easy one to make an excuse for. I was able to excuse my early arrival at the beginning of the year with a deceased relative and I was lucky the following moon as well. I had disappeared as a fight was escalating between Sirius and James, my being a bit on edge helped me that day. My roommates made the assumption that I couldn't take the fighting and had to leave before I lost it, seeing as it was clear that I was trying to keep my cool at times, particularly when my toothbrush was tossed onto the floor.

Sadly, leaving as the fight escalated gave James more ammunition against Sirius. He accused Sirius of being a wanker who couldn't keep his temper and that he was making it miserable for me to even be in the room. I hated it, but I never bothered to correct James for fear that they would question why I left and I didn't want to face that again. This time, there was nothing to use to my advantage. I was going to have to outright lie. The concept of lying like this made me nervous, which didn't help my already ragged state. I knew a few lies that I could use, most of them coming from my dad, who coached me in how to lie convincingly. It wasn't coming up with a lie that worried me, it was the delivery. Each time I'd attempted it, James always seemed suspicious and nosy asking all kinds of questions. I wasn't sure if Sirius bought my lies either. The only difference was that he didn't ask questions. I'd gotten myself so worked up over it the past few days, that when the day of the moon arrived I felt like I was going to throw up. I managed to keep myself together, though my concentration in class was not what it should be. I wound up missing some notes in History of Magic and hoped the information was not on the test seeing as I was the only one who took notes.

"You alright, Remus?" asked James at the end of the day, "You seem a little out of it today."

"I'm not feeling the greatest," I admitted, deciding that pretending I was sick would be easy enough to pull off.

"You probably just need to eat," remarked Sirius with a grin and a glance at Peter, "Peter ate more than his share at lunch. It's a wonder there was anything left for us!"

"Hey," protested Peter his cheeks flushing at bit, seeing as he had eaten more than he usually did at lunch that day while I mainly picked at my food. Sirius always seemed to pick on Peter a little, though he wasn't exactly mean to him. And Peter was on the chubby side.

"Maybe that's it," I meekly responded as I tried to think of how I would be able to convince them that I was sick enough to see Madame Pomfrey. That was a task easier said than done, but I found myself hoping for the best as we made our way to supper that night.

On our way out of the Great Hall that night, I stated that I was going to go to the hospital wing. "Why? You seemed fine at dinner. You had seconds." he pointed out helpfully. I had indeed eaten more than usual for me. The wolf in me was ravenous and seeing as I didn't eat much at lunch my hunger increased.

"It was a bad idea," I answered with another lie and a fake grimace, trying to keep it as realistic as possible. I don't think James believed me and would have said something more, but Sirius spoke up.

"Leave him alone, Potter." he said. "We don't want him puking in the dorm later, anyway," he pointed out with a pained look and seemed a little queasy at the thought.

I took advantage of Sirius' words and bolted for the hospital wing. I felt a sense of relief wash over me as I made way to the shack, accompanied by Madam Pomfrey, who reassured me that she would come for me in the morning.

The relief did not remain with me, as the wolf began to take over, my body going rigid and the ever painful morphing began. It was a rough night that night. By this moon, the wolf seemed to have satiated his curiosity about the shack and realized that there was no way out of the shack to get its teeth on human flesh. I assumed this from the feeling of being trapped I felt when I came to that morning. The feeling of being trapped wasn't the only thing that I woke up with. The mind of the wolf is something I don't pretend to understand, nor do I wish to understand it. The one aspect of it that I have become painfully aware of is that if the wolf can not find someone or something else to bite or chew and scratch it will turn on itself. It is the main source of my pain after the moon and what puts me out of commission the most and that is exactly was happened this moon. The wolf turned on itself seeing as there was little else for it to turn on. I can't help but wonder if this was the wolfs way of punishing me for keeping it trapped, like it knew I would be the one to suffer through the pain and not it. The pain was almost unbearable and I huddled on the floor, waiting for the school nurse to come with her healing charms.

I wasn't the only one who was having a difficult time that night. I came to learn that James, Sirius, and Peter had a less than pleasant encounter with a few Sirius' Slytherin relatives, who weren't fond of Sirius' recent actions of being sorted into Gryffindor and accepting his lot in life, associating freely with Gryffindor 'blood traitors and mudbloods'.

Neither James nor Sirius took too kindly to the insults and harsh language used. Both pulled their wands out and a duel ensued. It was Professor Slughorn who happened to be passing by and broke up the fight. According to the accounts I was told, both of Sirius's cousins suffered the greatest from the duel though all were roughed up a bit, Peter the worst of my dorm mates who was hit by a miss-fired hex. Detentions were assigned, but James and Sirius didn't think much of it and found the whole encounter to be entertaining.

When I was first awoken from my sleep in the hospital wing, Madame Pompfrey had nothing else to do for me but assign bed rest.

"You doing alright, Remus?" asked Sirius with concern, "You look like you got mauled by a Hippogriff."

"I'm fine," was my immediate response, "I'm just tired."

"You look worse than when you went to the hospital wing," remarked Peter as all three pairs of eyes were on me.

I wasn't sure what to say at first so I looked from one roommate to the other.

"I got pretty sick last night," I answered quietly.

I was given a skeptical look from James as he demanded, "Where were you when we came to visit you last night?"

When the question left his lips, I worked to keep the shock from registering on my face. I hadn't expected to be asked such a question. This complication was not something I had considered, but I had an excuse ready. "Madam Pomfrey was giving me some medicine in the back room."

James and Sirius gave me an odd look and I forced myself to keep my focus on them rather than looking away like instinct wanted me to do. It was something my dad had harped upon when telling me how to lie properly, "Always keep eye contact."

James seemed to stare me down for a moment till I felt like I was going to crack, but at that moment my stomach gurgled causing us to loose our focus. I gave a sheepish smile, "I guess I'm hungry again."

"I'm hungry!" offered Peter.

"You are always hungry," said Sirius, rolling his eyes as he levitated a bit of paper with his wand. He was always doing that, bits of magic here and there, showing off.

"My mum says I'm a growing boy," tried to argue Peter with a bit of a pout on his face.

"Yeah! Around the middle!" Sirius smirked.

Before Peter could argue, James interrupted saying, "Let's just go to dinner." From there conversation drifted to other topics such as pranks. I, as usual, was reluctant to agree, but at the same time, too tired to argue.

"I think we should do something bigger," announced Sirius, adding a bit more gravy to his potatoes. How Sirius ate as much as he did was a mystery to me and also kind of gross. He just piled everything on his plate, no matter if the carrots and potatoes were mixed together.

"Bigger?" coughed Peter though a mouthful of potatoes and roast.

"Bigger," mused James mixing the contents on his plate a bit, "I think I like the sound of that. What do you have in mind?"

"I was thinking of getting more than one person at a time, like what we did to Evans, but more people than just her," Sirius said with a grin.

"Not a bad idea. Remus, is it possible?" James asked looking to me.

I looked up in surprise, as I set my goblet of pumpkin juice down. "The spell we used on Lily is pretty hard," I tried to discourage them. "It's designed to do things on a small scale. Something so massive can't have the minute amount of detail incorporated. It would be easier to do hair instead of freckles." I said without thinking and regretted it immediately.

"That's perfect!" exclaimed James, beginning to fidget with excitement. "When should we do it?"

It was here that I truly realized my mistake and focused on my plate not saying a word.

"Well?" asked Sirius expectantly of me, nudging me in the shoulder. I looked up at James and Sirius and they looked at me expectantly.

I let out a sight and admitted, "I can do it, but it'll be hard."

"You said that about Evans and we pulled that off no problem!" argued Sirius who was just as eager as James about this prank.

I frowned as I shifted a few peas on my plate. I let out another sigh and agreed to get the information needed. James and Sirius were glad to hear it and commended me for being a good man, stating that I wouldn't regret it before they put their heads together and began plotting the details of the prank.

The following days turned to weeks, with little going on save for James and Sirius badgering me to get the information they desired. I learned quickly that with a new spell in their hands, Sirius and James were dangerous. They decided that they needed to 'practice' the spell before we tried it on a large scale. Hilarity ensued as James and Sirius tried out the spell on each other and then on me and Peter. At one point, Peter and I went around with green and red hair for most of the day before we realized it. Sirius and James thought it was great fun until I returned the favor with pink and purple hair respectively. By the end of the night, we all looked like we were wearing rainbows on our heads. The fun ended when Peter's hair suddenly stood on end in multiple florescent colors. The rest of us collapsed in fits of laughter and when we finally calmed down, it took us a good hour to fix things back the way they were.

By the time the last moon of the term came around, James and Sirius deemed it was time for the prank. They had finally agreed who the targets would be and the last meal before break as the time to unleash the prank. Lily was a target, of course and several of her friends.

With this moon. I opted to just slip away on the pretense that I was getting a book from the dormitory and not return with the excuse that I was caught by a professor and had to go see my sick mum. I hoped this excuse would go over better than the last couple of ones did, though my pallid look upon my return was going to be a touch difficult to explain. I hoped that maybe they would buy that I have a weak stomach and seeing my mum sick really shook me up.

That night the moon was equally as difficult as the one before, but the moon wasn't exactly the key point of interest that night, it was rather what happened in the common room. While I was away, Lily and Mary MacDonald decided to prank James, Sirius and Peter as revenge.

That night while I was in the shack and the guys were asleep, Lily and Mary went up to the dorm room and stole all of Sirius, James and Peter's underwear. I was the only one who was spared, probably because I apologized to Lily previously for my participation in the prank against her. The girls then displayed the underpants on the bulletin board in the common room with a sticking charms. It took them almost all day to get them down, much to the amusement of the older kids.

As a result, James and Sirius demanded to know why I wasn't attacked in this prank and I blushingly had to admit that I had apologized to Lily about the freckles. I was summarily dubbed a traitor by Sirius and informed that I should never apologize for something like that. I let out a sigh and allowed James and Sirius to go on about how they were going to seek revenge further against Lily and include Mary in it as well. This was the start of the Great Pranking War of '71 and '72.


	10. Chapter 10

It took a few days to stop being dubbed a traitor. I think part of the reason why it stopped when it did was because I was needed to answer a question or two for the upcoming Christmas prank. I knew they wanted information not only for a big prank but also so that they could get back at Mary and Lily for what they did. Normally I would have said no to their requests but I didn't want to forever be known as the traitor. Having friends was important to me. So I agreed to do research for them once more to which James clapped me on the back saying I was a 'good man.'

Before long everything was set, James and Sirius were eager as ever for dinner to perform their prank. There had been a quite literal count down to the prank not for break but rather for the prank.

It was like Christmas had arrived early for Sirius and James. The hour of their victory could not come soon enough but it did come all the same. We sat at our table near our usual spot which happened to be the perfect place to see everything in the hall. We were even lucky that night and Lily and Mary did not did not sit too far away.

"Ready?" whispered James leaning in toward the group Sirius' face split into a wicked grin.

"Of course!" he answered pulling his wand out, James following suit. They went to work quickly casting the spells saying them under their breath, they also targeted a few prefects which I did expect, and the last target was Lily and Mary. There was a quick uproar in which James and Sirius relished. The most intriguing was when Sirius mumbled another spell and Christmas music began to play.

I looked at him with surprise knowing I hadn't looked that spell up, "Where did you get that one?"

"You aren't the only one to crack open a book," answered Sirius in a low whisper a big Cheshire grin planted on his face.

Mixed in with the anger of those who were targeted was an applause and general approval from the spectators. From where I sat I could see that the caretaker was not pleased. Professor McGonagall's face was pinched with displeasure as well, but it seemed that Dumbeldore was amused by the prank and a small smile played on his lips a twinkle in his eyes.

Soon things seemed to calm down and eventually everyone made way to their rooms excluding those with red and green hair who went to see Professor Flitwick to fix the problem if they couldn't themselves.

"Bloody brilliant!" exclaimed James once we arrived in our dorm room. "The music was a perfect touch!"

"I thought so," agreed Sirius leaning back on his bed with a smug look. It was reminiscent of his 'I'm-pureblood-and-better-than-you' look but different. Though I had a feeling that if one tried to argue him on the fact that the music wasn't perfect Sirius would not be pleasant about it.

That night we didn't sleep much at all we talked of the brilliance of the prank and what fun we were going to have come next term. Many plans were made that night; I ended up being recruited to make a list of needed supplies for the new term. It was decided we were severely lacking in dung bombs. Then the idea of a detention wars came up to which I was recruited to keep track of. The goal was to see who could get the most detentions. I don't think it was one of the more brilliant ideas that James and Sirius had but there was no dissuading them so I became the neutral party to keep track of it all. It was also because I was good at keeping track of things and the neatest writing.

Staying up so late that night caused most of the train ride home to be rather subdued. Peter kept dozing off speaking some nonsense, which entertained James and Sirius. I spent a good amount of my time reading and nodding of. James and Sirius were the only ones truly awake. They whiled away the time conspiring with one another or playing exploding snap.

It was on the last leg of the journey that James and Sirius got bored and took to disturbing Peter's sleep. The used a feather from James' owl and began tickling him under his nose. I was awake enough that they didn't really get me; I always was a light sleeper. When Peter finally woke up, fairly grumpy, the train was coming to a halt.

"Looks like we're here mates," remarked James looking out the window.

I let out a stretch and stood Peter complained about why I wasn't bothered in my sleep and Sirius answered, "He wasn't really asleep you dolt!"

Peter looked to me to see if what Sirius had said was true, I nodded my head feeling bad for him seeing as he was a target at times for the jokes. James was the first to get his stuff down and bid us farewell and a Merry Christmas before he was out of the compartment.

Sirius and I were soon to follow with Peter lagging behind something of his had gotten stuck. I offered to help but he told me he had it so I wished him a Merry Christmas as well and left with Sirius.

When Sirius and I stepped off the train my dad immediately called me. He looked a bit worn and I was disappointed that my mum wasn't there with him. I turned to say goodbye to Sirius but was surprised not to see him there.

As I turned back to face my dad I saw Sirius with two others who looked a lot like him. One was younger a bit shorter he had slightly sharper features, a slighter frame with shorter hair. I guessed the boy was a younger brother whom I didn't know much about. He was more clean-cut but it looked like he was at least mildly pleased to see Sirius. The other was much taller and older. He held a strong look and square chin. His emotion wasn't apparent but he held his hand on the youngest's shoulder and barely addressed Sirius who looked a bit uncomfortable. Sirius stood straighter and looked like how he did when first met him. He reflected much of the look he had held at the beginning of the year. I silently hoped what I saw was not going to effect the second term.

Averting my eyes from Sirius and his family I could see James with his mum and dad, he was adamantly speaking with them. Though concerned about what I saw earlier I smiled glad to be going home. As I stepped down to greet my dad I was bumped into by Peter.

"Sorry," mumbled Peter.

I was about to tell Peter that it was no problem when all of a sudden a loud female voice called out "Petie!"

She was a short woman very petite with a slightly round face with blond hair. She was beaming and waving to Peter. She was paired with a rather tall man who seemed about as disconnected as Sirius' dad. He had beady eyes with a sharp nose and stringy brown hair. The pair were quite opposite of each other. I didn't linger long in watching as Peter approached them but opted to meet up with my dad.

"Doing alright Remus?" asked my dad drawing me into a side hug.

I nodded my head and asked, "Where's mum?"

"She's at home," answered my dad as he led the way through the crowd so we could make for home. "She's been feeling under the weather lately. She didn't want to owl you about it seeing as it was so close to your break. She didn't want to ruin your fun."

"Is she going to be alright?" I asked concerned looking at my dad who kept his focus straight ahead as we weaved between people.

"She's just tired right now," answered my dad looking down at me before we flooed home. I never really enjoyed traveling by floo, I'm still not a fan of it. The spinning and blurred images mixed with the heat and soot not to mention a montage of the smells on multiple fires was enough to make one sick. It was the one time I became motion sick was from flooing.

Once the world stopped spinning I stepped out of the fireplace and brushed the soot off. I didn't stand there for long when my mum greeted me calling out "Remus," her smile was warm as ever as she hugged me tight. I hadn't realized how much I missed home until I was back among familiar smells and being hugged by my mum. "It's good to have you home," she whispered in my ear as she chocked back tears still holding me tight when my dad came in from the fireplace behind me.

"He's home for a couple of weeks, let the boy breathe," mildly joked my dad as he rubbed the top of my head.

My mum pulled out of the hug but held me there, "Let me look at you," she insisted. Her tear filled eyes scanned me over and I got to look over her for the first time. She was thinner and more pail, here eyes were slightly sunken in and there were dark circles under them, but her same smile was still there telling me that she was my mum despite the changes in her look. "You've grown a bit," she remarked with pride, "Becoming quite the young man!" She hugged me once more before saying, "Now tell me everything about school I was to hear all about your friends."

She led me to the kitchen wrapping herself tightly in a blanket. She made some tea and poured me some to have me sit down and tell her all about school. I told her all I could recall and it brought a smile to her face.

"Sounds like you have a set of very good friends," remarked my mum, "You'll want to keep them close."

I nodded my head, it was nice to have friends but at the same time being close to them could increase suspicions about the moon. There were already suspicions and it worried me.

"How have the moons been?" asked my dad breaking in to the conversation.

"John," chided my mum, "Remus just got home let him have a bit of time to forget and relax!"

"The first few went well," I admitted, "some of my best I think the wolf was curious. But the rest have been not so good. Suspicions grow too." I looked away at my last line afraid I was going to get a lecture about how to lie once more but I didn't.

"I knew it was risky," mumbled my dad.

"Better excuses is all we need," assured my mum coughing a bit, "You can say I'm sick and not worry about lying because it is true I am." My mum wheezed a bit and squeezed my hand.

It was good to be home but at the same time I was worried about my mum. Time seemed to pass much too quickly over the break. Life took on normalness like it was before I went to school, though I did find myself helping my mum around the house a bit more.

"Remus, you don't have to help me so," assured my mum.

"I don't mind," I assured with a smile as I gathered our plates from our lunch.

"I so wanted you to relax. I'm sorry I'm so sick," she apologized.

I didn't understand why she was apologizing to me, but she squeezed my arm telling me that I was a good son.

There was a moon at years end and the wolf seemed displeased to be in the shed once more seeing as I was more beaten up than usual. Not having the advanced potions that Madame Pompfrey had my scratches and bite marks healed more slowly. By the time I was to board the train to return I still had a nasty scratch on the side of my face from the jaw line down the side of my neck. I wasn't easily hidden so my dad told me to say I was reaching for a box and it fell and scratched me. I worked and worked on the lie but I wasn't sure weather I'd be believed.

"Remus!" called James from the train as I entered onto the platform. I waved to James before saying goodbye to my mum and dad. I was worried about my mum being there in the cold seeing as she was quite sick. My mum held me tight before she whispered to me to have fun.

"I will," I promised before I turned to board the train. It didn't take me long to find the compartment where James had called from with ease. Peter was already there his eyes were quite watery and he was sniffling a bit. Before I could ask Peter if he was all right he spoke up with an answer saying, "Allergies."

I nodded my head and started to see to my things when James turned around and said, "So that's your mum and da?"

"It is," I nodded my head a grim look on my face, still worried about my mum's health.

James nodded his head and turned to take a seat across from where I was going to sit which happened to be next to Peter. When James focused on me his eyes were immediately attracted to the cut on my face and neck.

"What happened?" asked James pointing to my cut.

"I was reaching for a box and it slipped and fell on me. It cut pretty bad," I sheepishly answered taking my seat across from James. I looked out the window to avoid eye contact as James looked at me skeptically and remarked, "You are one klutz Lupin."

"I guess," I answered already feeling uncomfortable by all the question through I tried not to show it.

In all honesty I really wasn't clumsy being a werewolf actually enhanced my reflexes and I think James may have known that my reflexes were sharp. I had caught things on a number of occasions, so it begged the question of why this time?

"Where's Sirius?" suddenly asked Peter his eyes still watery, but not as much as they were when I first came in.

"I was wondering the same," answered James with a hint of disappointment looking out the window of the train as it started to pull away.

We didn't see him the entire train ride back to school, it wasn't until we got to the dorm room that we saw him and he was unusually quiet. He seemed to avoid eye contact when we greeted him. He looked almost sort of torn.

"You alright mate?" asked James knowing as well as I did something was up.

"I'm fine!" snapped Sirius, "Tired 'sall." With that Sirius plopped on his bet to sleep.


	11. Chapter 11

The following days after that night were interesting. Sirius hardly seemed to talk and almost seemed to be ignoring us. We were all at a loss as to what to do. James tried to plot a prank one day at lunch and we almost had him it was clear that he was listening in and was about to get involved when Narcissa his older cousin walked past giving him an almost warning glance. Sirius immediately sat back and didn't even glance once over at James' plans and us.

This gave James pause in his plans and though he didn't say anything I could tell that he was a bit hurt and disappointed that Sirius wasn't becoming involved with the prank. It was one that Sirius half came up with. "Well that's the plan mates," remarked James looking a bit grim. He was missing his partner in crime. The plan was to capture Mrs. Norris and change her fur color, trap her, and leave her to be discovered. The key was to keep Filch distracted long enough to do it. James mentioned that it would be the start on his list of detentions that he and Sirius were bound for. Sirius grunted slightly and then left the dinner table. It seemed that there was little that would distract Sirius into being like he normally was.

The plan was set in place but failed miserably. James got the detention and Peter got severely scratched by Mrs. Norris. Nothing else worked the plan was better thought out with a fourth man but our fourth wasn't much for anything.

The following night James had detention and I marked it down for the list of detentions. I also decided to keep a quite tally of detentions that Peter and I received. Of course James being the only one with a detention was in the lead, as I marked the tally that night I wondered if James would always be in the lead with Sirius not picking up pranks again. When James left for his detention Sirius seemed a bit fidgety like he felt guilty but he didn't say anything and then went for a walk as he claimed. I kept busy by reading for a time till Peter complained of boredom and asked me to play some snap with him. By the time James' detention was to be over Sirius had returned with him both covered in polish and laughing. They never really explained what happened between them but informed us that they had detention the following night. I looked at them with a raised brow of interest and received no explanation I then dutifully marked things putting James at two and Sirius at one. I knew the competition was back on.

James and Sirius went to detention the following night and concocted a few more plans. Detention was meant as a punishment for James and Sirius but it never did seem that way. They returned laughing and carrying on about a potential prank that they would like to carry out.

Things seemed at peace once more and we made an attempt at the failed prank again and succeeded Sirius took the detention this time while the rest of us saw to Mrs. Norris. It sent Filch into a tizzy. Filch swore that the old punishments would be brought about when he discovered who turned his cat fuchsia. (He never did discover that it was us.) This brought the detention tallies between Sirius and James to an even keel at two each. Of course things did not stop there as another full moon approached the tallies were rested with James at six detentions Sirius at seven Peter at three and myself at one though I'm certain I deserved a second had Sirius not covered for me. Part of me wondered if he covered for me just so he could get one up on James. It was by this time that Narcissa decided she was not going to have Sirius acting in such a manner.

"Sirius," called Narcissa in an airy and commanding tone.

Sirius rolled his eyes and turned to face her. "What do you want Cissy?" he asked in a bored tone.

"Stop the incessant pranking, I don't want another howler from Auntie Walburga, complaining about your detentions," she ordered.

"What? Afraid you might try to drown yourself again?" asked Sirius in a taunting tone.

"Don't test me!" threatened Narcissa a dark look in her face. It was rather quite surprising because she didn't always come across as one who could be so dark. "I can make your break pure misery!"

"Hey lay off," warned James tired of the threats.

"Don't test me Potter I don't have patience. It will be you and my cousin here that I'll be after if there is another howler!"

"Go back to your darling Lucius," answered Sirius, "Or should I say luscious Lucius?"

When I heard that one I had to suppress a smile and James and Peter both snickered as Sirius gave one of his 'I'm more superior than you' smirks.

"Who told you that name?" demanded Narcissa loosing a bit of color in he cheeks.

"Andromeda," answered Sirius with a smug look on his face, "I'm sure Malfoy would love to hear about that one!"

"You do and you die!" with that Narcissa left in a huff, she never really bothered us again, though I can't say the same of the other Slytherins. Many of them had quite choice words for Sirius and the company he now kept. Of course he and James wouldn't stand for it and got into a fair few fights. It finally reached the point that even Professor McGonagall got involved again threatening to kick them out of the school for such behavior. The response was that the Slytherins started it and it was a matter of self-defense. Professor McGonagall didn't seem to buy it though it was fairly true and stated that she would speak to Professor Slughorn about it. It didn't help too much, for within three weeks a group came after our group. In the end I ended up loosing my temper. It is a rare occurrence but an unfortunate side effect of being a werewolf. Before I knew it I was actively involved with the fight. Of course it did not last long with Professor Flitwick stepping in and putting an end to the brawl. He then assigned a detention for that night. It was then that I came to my senses.

"This is not good," I mumbled to myself the reality of things gradually hitting home more and more.

"Don't worry mate I don't think your dad will be that upset, he seemed to be an all right bloke," answered James patting me on the back.

That wasn't what was bothering me, though Professor Flitwick did mention writing home, and that would be an issue on its own but I was more pressed with the current issues at hand.

"I have to go," I answered and broke away, "I needed to get out of the detention as soon as possible, never had I expected a problem like this. I needed to speak with Professor McGonagall as soon as possible. It was my only hope of getting out of the detention. If it had been her she would have placed the detention so that there were no conflicts with the moon. Professor Flitwick did not know of my condition and had assigned a detention I could not attend.

It took me some time to find Professor McGonagall to speak with her, when I explained my situation to her it was clear that she was not pleased. She said that she would speak with Professor Flitwick and work something out for there was no other choice in the matter. I spent the rest of the evening before the moon feeling exceptionally guilty for my actions and the problems they caused. In a way I betrayed the trust that was placed in me.

The moon was as usual but it was the time after that was problematic. "Remus! Where were you during detention?" asked James he had that prying look in his eyes that seemed to say he wasn't going to take another excuse for an answer.

"Yeah, you missed out on all the fun," sarcastically answered Sirius taking a seat waiting for the same kind of answers as James.

"It was horrid," offered Peter in negation of Sirius' sarcastic remark.

"Something came up," I answered stalling trying to come up with a lie quickly this one was more difficult than usual. I didn't have much time to come up with one ahead of time seeing as I did have the moon to deal with.

"Something came up?" asked James skeptically.

"That's a brilliant answer Remus. Tells us exactly why you missed out!" added Sirius.

I sighed at this, what was I supposed to day? "There was an owl from my dad, my mum is getting pretty sick," I lied not knowing how much truth was in my words.

"So why did you go running off earlier?" asked James eyeing me.

"I was feeling pretty sick at the time," I answered quickly which was a truth though only a half-truth. I looked to each of my friends hoping they would buy the lie.

"For some reason I feel you are lying," admitted James shaking his head, "I just can't figure out why."

"Remus is lying?" asked Peter a bit confused.

James and answered Peter's question at once me with a resounding 'no' and James saying, "I think he is."

I bit my lip in response, "Why would I lie?" I asked.

"That's my main question," answered James shaking his head before walking away.

"I – I have a detention to serve tonight to make up for the one I missed," I offered before walking away as well, with Sirius calling after me. "Have fun!"

After that confrontation things were a bit tense between the guys and myself. I dreaded the coming final moon, how was I supposed to lie to them again. I knew it would only increase the tensions. I had a feeling that I may be loosing my friends never to have them again. It tore me up inside but it was the life of a werewolf something I should have been used to by that time, but I had gotten used to friends and in a way was spoiled. I had never had them before and I had become dependent upon them and now didn't want to loose them.

No matter how much I dreaded the approach of the moon there was nothing I could do to stop it and I knew the need to lie was inevitable. I knew with this next set of lies it would destroy my friendships. Thus I approached the moon like a man walks to the gallows. If there was anything I could have done to delay the moon to avoid it, I would have but there was nothing to do.

Thus when the fateful night game I slipped off as usual hating my condition more than ever. The moon went as usual and I awoke and tried to go on with life as usual. For the first time on a moon there was no questions asked of me there was just some slight whispering between James and Sirius and nothing more. I hated the whispering, it was almost worse than the questions. It was fortunate that I couldn't dwell on my issues for long seeing as there were finals to study for. In the end exams went well, and before any of us knew it we were on the train home.

Conversation continued much like it did before the Christmas holidays, save for the difference of talking about summer plans. It was clear that Sirius did not really want to go back home and James insisted that Sirius come and visit. Of course both Peter were welcome to come visit as well.


	12. Chapter 12

((**A/N:** Warning this may be a bit of a tear jerker.))

Over all I was glad to be going home. It was a nice concept not to have to worry so much about the lies. I hoped the time away would help lessen the tensions between the guys, and myself seeing as the lying did put a strain on things there at the end. Though it was a relief being home for those reasons, life at home was not stress free, at least not as stress free, as I would have liked. It turned out that my mother had taken a turn for the worse while I was away at school.

I did not know this at all until I arrived home. I knew that my mum was sick when it was just my father there to meet me at the train station, but I didn't quite know the extent of her sickness until I arrived home where I heard a foreign yet oh so familiar sound.

"Remus!" exclaimed my mother in a frail voice, one much softer and weaker than I had ever heard in my life. As I stepped out of the fireplace I could see her sitting in a chair across the room from the fireplace. It was clear she was trying to get up to see me but couldn't quite manage it. I knew in an instant that she was much more sick than when I left for school. In all honesty it was a bit of a shock to the system and I found myself standing there watching for a few moments. It was then that I knew, oh I tried to pretend and deny it but something in my gut told me, she was dying. It took a moment for my synapse to fire for me to move. I knew her trying to get up was not good for her so I quickly moved to greet her in her chair, so she wouldn't wind up over exerting herself even more.

As I gave her a hug I could tell she was out of breath as she spoke the words, "My boy!"

I was just pulling out of the hug with her when my father flooed into the room. He took one look at my mother and spoke, "Sarah, you were ordered to rest. You trying to do something will only make matters worse," he chided to her before looking at me with a slightly grim look. I wanted to ask then what was going on but I knew it was not the time and my mother would worry about me more than she normally did if I knew and asked then.

"I don't mind so much," answered my mum taking my hand in hers and patting it. "My son is home and that is what matters most." She smiled at me with weak smile as my dad just shook his head as he waved his wand to send my trunk to my room.

I spent the whole afternoon wondering and wishing to ask about things, pretending all was okay when it wasn't until my mum went to bed early exhausted form over working herself. It was then that I took my chance to ask what was going on.

"Dad?" I asked bleakly. He turned to look at me before I continued, "What's wrong with mum?"

Letting out a low sigh my dad answered, "I think we had better have a seat and talk about this over some tea."

Tea was almost always my father's answer to a problem or serious discussion, make some tea to sooth things a bit.

It is tradition I have since pick up myself for tea does oddly have a way of calming the nerves, and it gives something for the body to do while the mind mulls over difficult and important things.

My father led the way into the kitchen and flicked his wand to get a kettle boiling. As he continued with the preparations I took a seat at the kitchen table, the very same seat I sat in when I was informed that I may have been a werewolf.

"As you have noticed," started my dad slowly as he got down two cup. "Your mother is quite ill."

I silently nodded my head as he continued on. "Much more than she was on your last break."

My dad paused in the tea preparations gathering up his strength to continue to tell me the exact state of things. As I watched I knew nothing but bad news was coming my way. I sat still wanting to know more, combating the small urge to get up and run, to run away from the truth because I knew I would not like what I would hear, almost as if running from it would make things any less true. An irrational concept but one that combated inside of me to stay in ignorant bliss and pretend all was all right, and keep the truth of the matter locked away. Having my father tell me these things would make the truth undeniable and that frightened me.

The kettle let out a whistle and my dad moved to pour the tea. I watched in silence waiting for him to continue what he was saying but having no urge to rush him along with what he would say next. There was silence in the kitchen until my father sat down and took a sip of his tea.

"Your mother has a very rare sickness," began my father looking down at his cup of tea. "They aren't sure what causes it or how to treat it. There has only been a total of three recorded cases with your mother being the fourth. They aren't even sure what to call the disease. The sickness in non-communicable so there is no concern in you or I getting it, and there is no treatment. The only thing we can do at this point is making sure your mother gets plenty of rest and hope that it passes."

"What do you mean?" I asked not touching my tea eyes never leaving my father as he answered my question.

"Out of those three cases only one person was known to survive," the words my father spoke were heavy ones laden with concern for my mother as he took another sip of his tea.

I looked down at mine not able to touch it though my throat felt as dry as a bone. There was no more denying the truth now, no more running from it pretending it didn't exist. I could no longer pretend as I had done the past few hours. I fought back tears as it all stuck me in full force. My mum was dying.

"Now Remus," added my father, "Don't let on that you know. The last thing we wan if for her to worry about you knowing. She wants your summer to be a relaxing and happy one."

I silently nodded my head, despite my mother's good intents I knew my summer wasn't going to be what she hoped it to be for me. I found myself spending the next few moments staring silently down at my untouched tea as my father finished his.

"Let's get some sleep," he suggested standing up taking my tea. I gave a meek nod and stood to go to my room. As we both left the kitchen my dad placed his hand on my shoulder in a reassuring manner letting me know that he knew how I was feeling. In a way it was a moment of bonding and understanding for us.

The moment passed all too quickly and we each went to our respective rooms. I moved and dressed for bed in a rather mechanical manner. Once in bed, with my head resting on my pillow, I released my emotions and let a number of tears slip as reality sank further in.

In the morning my father's words seemed more like a dream than anything else but I knew they weren't a dream and it was impossible to deny the fact that my mother was indeed ill and getting worse.

Once that reality sank back in I forced myself to move out of bed and get on with the day for there was little else to do even if part of me wanted to stop functioning and try and refuse the truth. I forced my self to continue on as it nothing was wrong though it was difficult to look at my mum and act like nothing was seriously wrong.

It was exceptionally difficult when I could tell that she knew the truth of the matter better than anyone else. She knew even then that despite the chances of survival she was not going to. It seemed she knew her fate better than anyone else. I think it was why she spent most of her time with me telling me stories of when I was a baby and a little boy. There were so many summer days spent with her telling me a tale as I watched her get gradually worse and worse.

It was within four weeks of my coming home that my mum was condemned to bed rest. It was here that she finally admitted the truth to me. One week later my mother passed away coinciding with the moon. It was the one time the wolf did not bother me until the appointed time. It was also the first time I did not fight my transformation, I in fact rather welcomed it as a release from the grief. That night the werewolf felt my grief and joined me in my mourning spending the night howling in agony. It was the one time I awoke from a moon with out a scratch on me.

With the death of my mother there were a lot of hardships and pain to deal with. It took a lot of work adjusting to life without my mother. Of course my father and I were not forced to face our grief alone. The Potters, Sirius and Peter were there for me and my father visiting to give each of us a bit of support.

I remember the Potters taking my father into their arms giving him a hug of comfort as he wept for my mother. Mrs. Potter took to bringing us a hot fresh meal for a week straight, and was always certain to give me an extra warm hug each time she came by. Always offering to be there for my father and me should we ever need anything.

In a way it was through that that Mrs. Potter became like a second mother to me. It was also through this that they became dear friends of my father as well.


	13. Chapter 13

The next moon after my mother's death we exceptionally difficult. It was as if the wolf now knew my weakness and my desire not to fight it to want to spend a few hours not as myself and to escape the still lingering pain and grief. The wolf knew this and took full advantage of this weakness.

Though in a rather unconscious state of mind it seemed that my will to not give into the wolfs will did hold it back at times when in years past, seeing as I had no true will against it, it took the liberty to double it's efforts to escape from the shed my father had built for me all those years ago.

When I became conscious the next morning I let out a hoarse moan in pain. It could not be helped the pain that morning was worse than any I had experienced upon waking up. The moment the moan left my mouth the door to the shed was ripped open flooding light into the shed. Through my bleary eyes I could see that my father looked rather worse for wear his hair a mess and dark circles under his eyes. He looked like a wild man.

"It's going to be alright Remus," he spoke reassuringly though his voice seemed to shake a bit as if he had one of the scariest nights in his life.

"It hurts," I croaked a phrase I rarely used anymore after moons but this time the pain was much worse than it normally was. It felt like there was a fire in my left arm.

"I know son, just don't move. I'm going to move you inside and then I'll get you fixed up," tried to sooth my father as he mumbled incantations to place a stretcher under me and lifted me into the house.

I know I faded in and out of consciousness as I was moved. The only reason I didn't sleep and remain asleep was because of the pain.

Once I was placed on my bead my dad spoke to me once more. "Remus I'm going to need you to sit up. It is probably going to hurt quite a bit but it is the only way I can give you a potion for the pain. Can you do that for me?" he asked concern clearly etched in his voice.

I nodded my head and started to sit up with my father's help his hand on my back to help me up as I groaned in pain.

"That a boy," encouraged my dad as he placed the cup with the potion to my lips. I took it greedily despite the horrid taste knowing all to well that it would help as well as a sleeping potion. As I finished I coughed a little breathing in a little too soon after swallowing. I then laid back groaning in pain in the movement once more. In my fogged mind I couldn't quite figure out what the source of my pain.

As I laid there I could feel the pain ebb away and sleep start to over come me, but before I became fully unconscious I remember hearing my father mumbling, "I'm so sorry Remus."

I wanted to ask what he meant but sleep over came me and I did not stir for the next couple of hours. When I came to I found that the pain was now a dull ache only slightly worse than the residual pain of a transformation. As the late afternoon sun shone through the windows of my room I blinked my eyes allowing them to adjust knowing that my cuts were healed. It was then that I realized that there was something around my arm that kept it still and made it quite heavy. I tried to raise it up but hissed in pain when trying to move it. It hurt to sit up but considerably less so I did to notice that my are was in a brace of some sort.

As I was examining it trying to figure out what exactly it was that had happened the night before a voice broke into the room. "You broke your arm last night."

I looked up to see my father more put together but still looking like death warmed over standing in my door way. "I admit it was mainly my fault," he continued stepping into my room and sitting on the edge of my bed.

"What do you mean?" I asked glancing at my are once more wondering how I had broken my arm and how he was responsible for it.

My dad let out a weary sigh and looked across the room, he paused like he was about to reveal some very grave news. "You almost got out last night," he answered quietly.

"I what?" I asked panic almost gripping me.

"Last night the werewolf was more vicious and resilient than ever. It wouldn't let up on the door and kept at it almost breaking it down. I had it's leg out and wasn't about to back up and retreat from where it was. I had to stop you some how. There is only so much one can do to cause a werewolf to back up. I had to son you understand right?"

He looked at me earnestly almost asking for forgiveness as an image of my father standing there wand out pointed at me with grim determination on his face and then a flash of light. Weather it was a memory from the night before or not I could not tell. Then I just thought it was just something of my imagination.

I nodded my head that I did understand how and why my arm was broken.

My dad continued on saying, "I sent the curse and you backed away. I hated it but I had no choice and took the opportunity to block the hole I wound up spending the night making sure the rest of the shed was secured while you persisted on despite the broken leg. My dad shook his head as it seemed like regret started to wash over him.

"I understand," I answered verbally to let my dad know that I didn't blame him.

"I tried to mend you up as best as I could but I don't seem quite as good as your mother was," he added with a weak forced smile tears in his eyes as he traced a new scar on my jaw line.

"You did fine dad," I answered with a forced smile in return.

I spent the next week recuperating and nursing my arm back to health. Most broken bones are rather easy to mend but when they were broken while and I was a werewolf and magically it took more time to heal. Not as long as a broken bone for a muggle but long enough that I was going to have to wear my arm in a sling when traveling to Hogwarts.

This circumstance was not going to help me, and my issue with they guys about my lying instead of waiting three weeks into term before I had to lie; I had to start the term off with a lie. Little did I know at that time that a lie wouldn't be worth much by then.

Along with allowing my arm to mend my father and I worked on a lie to tell about my arm. Though we worked hard on it I knew it wasn't going to believe for a single minute. Thus I faced my impending downfall grimly, where once part of me looked forward to going back to school, I dreaded the count down to the start of term.

Then finally the fateful day arrived and I was white as a sheet as I stood ready to board the train.

"Relax Remus," assured my father as he paced a hand on my good shoulder. "You will do fine just remembered what we practiced and it will be over before you know it."

I silently nodded my head before giving my dad a quick hug good bye and boarded the train. My things were already up thanks to magic seeing as I was only capable of lifting with one arm.

As I started to board train I heard a voice calling me, "Remus! Remus, wait up!" He was Peter panting as he dragged his trunk behind him. "How was the rest of your summer?" he asked conversationally as he continued to pull his trunk. He seemed to be in a better mood than usual. Before I could ask about it he suddenly squeaked, "Merlin! What happened to you?" he asked in complete and utter awe as he gaped at my arm.

"I broke it," I answered truthfully. The less I said about my arm the better.

"When?" asked Peter looking up at me rather than my arm.

"Just the other day, I fell out of a tree," I added knowing that to lie convincingly was to keep information limited and to provide for few as possible questions. I had to make it seem like a normal flow of conversation, not offer too much at once but not hold back too much.

"Rotten luck," answered Peter with a frown as he worked on getting his trunk up into the overhead. He struggled a bit but was able to manage it alone this time, which was better than last term, it indicated that Peter had grown an inch or so over the summer I imagine we probably all did.

I was relieved when Peter took my lie at face value but he didn't tend to pry into things as much that was more James while Sirius seemed never to believe but didn't say anything about it unlike James.

"Do you think James is here yet?" asked Peter conversationally as he took a seat across from me, smile still on his face from what ever it was that put him in a good mood this day.

I was going to answer that I didn't know when James decided to answer for himself. "Don't get your knickers in a twist, I'm here." He had one of his classic mischievous grins on his face. "What would you ladies do with out me?" asked James in a joking fashion, giving us a minor insult.

"I was just…" started Peter before James interrupted him.

"Merlin! What happened to you!?" he asked glancing me up and down clearly taking not of my arm.

"He broke it falling out of a tree," Peter answered for me and I was grateful to him for it seeing as it saved me a good deal of lying.

"When was this?" demanded James looking at me incredulously almost as if I had still given a poor lie.

"Just the other day," I answered with a casual embarrassed tone before glancing out the window as an escaped owl went flapping past. It looked like the last stragglers were getting ready to board the train and that we would be off soon.

"How did it happen?" asked James and he hoisted his trunk up as well.

It drew my attention back to the compartment. "I was climbing the tree in my back yard and when I went for the next branch up I lost my balance and slipped and fell." I answered as casually as I could; almost at it was an everyday thing rather than a rehearsed answer.

James furrowed his brow at me but refrained from saying anything more to me about it which was quite a surprise, he opted to go onto another topic of discussion, "Have either of you seen Sirius yet?"

I shook my head in the negative wondering where he was along with James while Peter piped up, "I might have seen him on the platform but I'm not sure."

"He still has time before the train leaves the station," I offered kindly as I looked at the last few people saying goodbye to loved ones.

"I suppose," consented James with a frown. I suspected that James wanted to talk about a prank that was winding through that head of his but couldn't really work it completely out without his partner in crime.

Before long the train lurched out of the station and we were on our way with no sign of Sirius at all. In fact there was no sign of Sirius the entire train ride we honestly didn't see him until we were at the Gryffindor table and we asked him about it his only response was that he was 'busy', and he was particularly intent on the sorting ceremony. None of us really knew why until the name "BLACK, Regulus," was called.

It all then made sense and we cold feel the tension coming off of Sirius so thickly that it could have been cut with a knife. The hat rested on Regulus' head for a time before it finally declared "SLYTHERIN." It was then that Sirius turned from the ceremony and stared at his plate 'brooding'. He hardly even ate when the feast appeared on the table. I think for once in out lives we were the quietest group sitting at the Gryffindor table that night.


End file.
